florida
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Fla. Governor Continues to be a Goddamn Idiot, Has No Plans to Do Anything as COVID-19 Cases Continue to Rise
Have you ever heard the story of how Florida was created? It all started with a chicken sandwich. God hadn’t quite built up his body to handle all of the grease from the Popeyes crunchy chicken offerings and well, he started to get a bit sick. Finally, after sweating and grabbing his stomach, God leaned…
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Two Florida Officials Fired for Whitewashing the Faces of Black Firefighters on a Public Mural
The level of headassery that’s endemic to Florida is truly astounding. Even in a situation designed to be a layup, they find a way to turn it into an airball. Take, for instance, a recently unveiled mural that whitewashed the faces of two black firefighters. NBC News reports that two city officials in Boynton Beach,…
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This White Florida Man Really Tried to Bum-Rush His Way Into Walmart After Being Blocked From Entering Without a Face Mask
Did the Black delegation ever settle on a name for male Karens? I don’t like “Chad” because a Chad played Black Panther, so let’s go with “Skip” as in, “Boy, if you don’t Skip your stupid ass to another store instead of going full Karen in this Walmart because they won’t let you in without…
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Okay, So Maybe Life Inside the NBA's Bubble Won't Be So Bad After All
I haven’t been to summer camp since I was a child, but if it’s anything like what NBA players are about to experience at Disney World when they return to work in July, where do I sign up? According to The Athletic, on Tuesday, the league sent out a 108-page memo outlining what teams can…
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When a Bad Apple Spoils a New Barrel: New Study Unpacks the Dangers of Hiring Previously Fired Cops
One of the most confounding distortions of language centers around the colloquialism of “bad apples” with regard to policing. The phrase is frequently used to minimize the severity of the policing problem in this country: Why say policing itself is the problem when we can focus on throwing out the few “bad apples” of the…
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Of Course, the GOP Convention Is Heading to the End of America’s Digestive Tract
Florida is the asshole of America. So it is fitting that the gathering of assholes may happen in the one place that is so strange that it is a game to look up “Florida man” and your birthday to see what ridiculous crime you land on. I’m “Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with…
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Florida Police Investigating Officer Who Put Knee on Man's Neck
The past week has seen people all over the country protest against police violence after video was released showing George Floyd death as the result of Minneapolis Police officers placing their knee on his neck, suffocating him. Now, an officer in Sarasota, Fl. are under investigation for using a similar tactic. Bay News 9 reports…
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Florida Woman Arrested for Drowning Her Autistic Son After Telling Police Two Black Men Abducted Him
A Miami woman recently joined the long list of white people who blame non-existent black people for crimes they themselves committed when she was arrested in the drowning death of her son. This, after she initially told police he was abducted by two black men who were seeking drugs. The Associated Press reports that 45-year-old…
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A Federal Judge Has Cut Down Florida's Law Requiring Former Felons Pay Fines Before Registering to Vote
Voting rights advocates in Florida and across the country are celebrating a recent federal judge ruling that opens the door for 1.5 million felons previously barred from voting to participate in the 2020 elections. U.S. District Judge Robert L. Hinkle has gutted a state law passed by Republican legislators in Florida that requires people with…