fatherhood
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Fences Reminds Me That Loving My Son Means Rejecting Fatherhood
“Your firstborn son gots to be a junior,” my barber ordered. In the weeks before my son’s birth, the person who regularly gave me a razor lining insisted that I bestow my full name on my child. Nodding men in the shop unanimously agreed. “Man, you’ve got a great name,” he added, meaning that I…
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I Miss Not Being Able To Witness My Mom Witnessing The Things I've Experienced Since Her Death
I began writing this at 10:30am. Three years ago at this time, I was home, going through my morning ritual — which consists of some combination of working, showering, getting dressed, eating, and walking the dog — a bit slower than usual. A deliberate and intentional slowness because I knew that when my routine was…
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Confession: I Love My Baby Daughter, But I (Probably) Hate Your Baby
In the months leading up to the birth of my daughter, I was filled with anxiety. Which apparently is normal and expected. And most of these anxieties existed in the form of questions. Some commonplace and perfunctory. (“What type of dad will I be?” “What type of person will she be?”) And some not so…
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What My Father and Juneteenth Taught Me About Having ‘Expectations’
I wouldn’t know Juneteenth without my father. He’s the Texan. He grew up celebrating the holiday that started on June 19, 1865, when slaves on Galveston Island, Texas, finally learned they’d been freed under the Emancipation Proclamation two years prior. Even though he now lived in St. Louis, he’d always make the same jokey reference…
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Celebrating Black Fatherhood With #7DaysOfBlackDads
Father’s Day is steadily approaching, and it’s a holiday that deserves to be celebrated boldly and proudly. Black fathers are often maligned (go ahead, Google “black father” and see what results you get) in the media, even though we see, experience and all know some amazing men who nurture, love and cherish their children. We want…
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Andre Williams, No. 44 of NY Giants, Tackles Fatherhood and Serves Food for Thought
Andre Williams is a running back for the New York Giants, but none of the hard knocks on the football field could have prepared him for perhaps his most challenging matchup yet: fatherhood. In February, Williams and his wife welcomed their firstborn, Barron Zavier Williams. On the cusp of his third pro-football season, The Root caught…
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How and Why I Forgave the Father I Never Had
“Kids have a hole in their soul in the shape of their dad. And if a father is unwilling or unable to fill that hole, it can leave a wound that is not easily healed.” – Ronald Warren My life is the result of the bargaining between two consenting adults; only one held up their…
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Two Days Ago, I Became A Dad. Here's What I've Learned Since Then
1. In the 48 hours since our daughter was born, my wife and I have received hundreds of texts, calls, emails, visits, and other forms of congratulations. I’ve also been asked dozens of questions. (“Did you change her diaper yet?” “Are you getting any sleep?” “When you go out tomorrow, can you get me some coconut…
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Visions Of Pappyhood
It wasn’t always this way. Last year, I could scroll down my Facebook timeline past the cats-are-assholes videos and the fire-and-brimstone warnings against using people’s public content on a public site and not get tripped up by a video of a dancing, diaper-clad chocolatey wonder. I could walk down the street and not melt into…