Donald Trump
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Everything Makes Sense If You Accept That White People Just Want Everyone And Everything Dead
Although the best and most memorable part of The Usual Suspects occurs in the last five minutes, when Agent Kujan puts the pieces on the bulletin board together and slowly realizes that Verbal Kint is in fact Keyser Soze, my favorite part comes a half hour or so before that scene. Dean Keaton and the…
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Talladega College Marching Band Must Walk Away From Habanero Hitler’s Inauguration
In the wake of harsh criticism from alumni and across social media, Talladega College President Billy C. Hawkins was at one point “still weighing his options” with respect to accepting the invitation for the school’s marching band to take part in President-Elect Donald Trump’s inaugural parade. It appears that the weight crashed on the racist…
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Pro-Marijuana Group Will Hand Out Free Joints in DC for Trump’s Inauguration
People attending Donald Trump’s inauguration in Washington, D.C., will have the opportunity to experience it on a higher level; a pro-marijuana group plans to hand out free joints the day the president-elect is sworn in. DCMJ is an organization that worked to pass Initiative 71, which made it legal to carry up to 2 ounces…
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Jeff Sessions Is Dangerous and Should Not Be Confirmed as Trump’s Attorney General [Retracted]
RETRACTED (6/12/18): This story has been removed because we have discovered it was in breach of our editorial standards. If you’d like to know more, you can read an editor’s note here. A cached version of the story is available here for transparency.
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Will Megyn Kelly Be Less Racist Now That She’s on NBC?
If one were in need of confirmation that you, too, can get away with Bill O’Reilly’s type of racism so long as you’re a pretty, blond white woman, look no further than the news that Megyn Kelly is leaving Fox News for NBC. According to reports, Kelly will host her own daytime talk show and…
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Bill and Hillary Clinton Will Attend Donald Trump’s Inauguration
Bill and Hillary Clinton will be in attendance at Donald Trump’s inauguration Jan. 20, their aides confirmed Tuesday. Former presidents and their spouses are given prominent seats to witness the inauguration, but as the Los Angeles Times notes, never before has a former first lady lost the election, and Hillary Clinton’s attendance at the ceremony…
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Rebecca Ferguson's Blatant Trolling Of Donald Trump Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Unless some unforeseen and arbitrarily specific and fortuitous calamity happens between now and January 20th, rendering him unable to hold office, Donald Trump will officially be President of the United States. Typing those words out, seeing them on the page, repeating that sentence aloud, and thinking about what those words put together in that sequence…
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House GOP Reverses Vote to Gut Ethics Committee
Updated Tuesday, Jan. 3, 2017, 1:08 p.m. EST: Even President-elect Donald Trump thought Republicans focused their attention on the wrong issues after they held a closed-door vote to weaken the independent ethics committee created to keep lawmakers honest. On Tuesday, Trump tweeted: According to Politico, GOP members heard the president-elect and public’s displeasure with their…
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New Year’s Resolutions Y’All Can Actually Keep
For far too many well-intentioned souls, New Year’s resolutions are the life-affirmation equivalent of a deadbeat dad telling his kid he’ll be right back before hightailing it to a place only an expensive private investigator can find. Some of you will indeed join a gym, but only a few of you will make it beyond…
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What Are Those??? The Sad, Sorry, And Satisfying Slate Of Trump's Inauguration Performers
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Jackie Evancho. The Reagan Years. Pete Carol and the Blues. Yosemite Street Theater. Y’all these are the “big” names of people performing at President-elect Trump’s upcoming inauguration festivities on January 20th. Those last two I made up because that’s precisely what this random ass list of performers sounds like. On what…