Donald Trump
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Disciplinary Action Looming for Secret Service Agent Who Vowed She Wouldn’t Take Bullet for Trump
If you work for the Secret Service, it’s in your job description to take one for the president. Unless the president is a racist who has offended everyone who isn’t a rich white man—then I forgive you if you don’t want to take one for the team. But it looks like the Secret Service isn’t…
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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up: Donald Trump’s 1st Interview on ABC
I don’t believe in assigning President Trump silly nicknames. There is no combination of orange, hand, marigold or pumpkin jokes or references that either makes me chuckle or truly demonstrates who or what he is. Why? Primarily because who Donald Trump is, and what he represents, isn’t funny and runs much deeper than a few…
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I’ll Be Skipping the Pity Party Held by Honeysuckle Lenin Voters
As the pool of white tears begins to flood from the influx of supporters of our newly elected authoritarian who are expressing regret over their votes, allow me to extend the following invitation to one and all: Drown. Recently, USA Today published an op-ed entitled, “I Voted for Trump, Not Against Planned Parenthood.” In it,…
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In Less Than a Week, Donald Trump Has Rick James-ed All Over America’s Couch
He’s been in office less than a week and he’s already wreaking havoc. In his first full day playing president, Donald Trump withdrew the United States from the Trans-Pacific Partnership, issued a hiring freeze on the federal workforce and took federal funding from all nongovernmental agencies that perform abortions. In subsequent days, he pushed for…
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Trump Is Going to Build His Damn Wall, and Other Questionable Executive Orders
President (ugh) Trump continued his bull-in-a-china-shop routine Wednesday by signing a few questionable executive orders, including one to build a border wall with Mexico, one to cut off funds to cities that do not report undocumented immigrants, and one that could restart an interrogation program that was dismantled in 2009 after being condemned as torture.…
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White Trump Voter Explains Why He Left Black DC Waitress $450 Tip
By now we’ve all heard the story of the white men who were visiting Washington, D.C., during inauguration weekend who left a black Busboys and Poets waitress a hefty $450 tip on a $72.60 bill. Well, the man behind the generous tip, Jason White, is now coming forward to tell his side of the story…
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Don’t Save Melania Trump; She Don’t Wanna Be Saved
When it comes to Melania Trump, multiple things can be true if you try really, really hard not to operate at the same intellectual level as her dimwitted husband. Like, even if Slovenia’s new favorite daughter chose to pose nude back in her modeling days, it was wrong for the New York Post to publish…
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Donald Trump Gives All The Fucks. This Is A Bad Thing.
Donald Trump is a scary, scary man. I can hear you saying “no shit” from my office in DC. From his cabinet picks – nearly all of whom are unqualified for their new jobs or in the case of Jeff Sessions, qualified on paper but good gotdamn – to the potential Supreme Court picks, we’re in…
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Your Ultimate Auntie, Rep. Maxine Waters, Takes ‘Knuck if You Buck’ Stance on Trump
Maxine Waters should be tired. At 78 years old, she shouldn’t be the congresswoman leading the fight against Donald Trump, but don’t tell her that. She’s fought bigger and tougher, and to her, this is the fight in front of her and she isn’t the running type. Serving since 1991 as the U.S. representative for…
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Trump Calls for ‘Major Investigation’ Into Nonexistent Voter Fraud
President Donald Trump doesn’t need evidence to make claims, and he also doesn’t need evidence to demand “a major investigation” into voter fraud. That’s right; Trump is going to investigate the claims that only he’s made since losing the popular vote to Hillary Clinton. “I will be asking for a major investigation into VOTER FRAUD,…