Donald Trump
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Y’all’s Drunk Uncle President Is Tweeting Again
I’ve figured it out. Aside from scarfing down family-size buckets of KFC, pathological lying and a predilection for pussy grabbing, we all know that Donald Trump’s vices do not include drinking alcohol or imbibing in recreational drugs. Yet our nation’s leader repeatedly leaves us perplexed with late-night tweets that sound as if he just got…
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Joe Scarborough: Steve Bannon Is Leaking All Jared Kushner-Russia Intel
I love nothing more than a good reality drama, and nothing is better than the reality-TV star-turned-president and his merry band of misfits. On Friday, Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough posited an interesting theory, and one that I think I can get behind. According to Scarborough’s sources inside the White House, White House chief political…
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Y’all’s President Just Put Captain Planet on Suicide Watch and Further Endangered the Entire World
When flooding gives way to the destruction of American coastal cities, when the increased droughts and decreases in annual water lead to fewer crops and greater hunger scares among the poorest, when the day comes that today’s warmest temperatures feel like cool breezes by comparison, and when the widespread political instability as a result of…
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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Get Into a Full ‘Covfefe’ on Twitter
I can’t lie; I love when the president wades in the petty pool. Is it embarrassing on a national stage? Of course it is! But what is the point of having a worthless president if he doesn’t do worthless stuff? At times I need him to prove just how petty and vindictive he truly is,…
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Sean ‘Spicy Facts’ Spicer: ‘Covfefe’ Is a Word to Those in the Know!
I love White House Press Secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer. I have ever since he took office, and mostly because he’s a goddamn embarrassment. He’s the mouthpiece for an administration whose members don’t seem to know their ass from their hat, so watching him walk out in front of a pressroom firing squad of reporters…
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It’s No Surprise That the Trump Administration’s Africa Policy Is Nonexistent. But We Should Care
With the president returning from one of the most embarrassing public displays of American diplomacy abroad, at least we can say one thing: We know where President Donald Trump stands with respect to U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East and in Europe. For bad or for worse. We even get a firm sense of…
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Confirmed: Former FBI Director James Comey to Testify Publicly That Trump Attempted to Obstruct Russia Probe
Former FBI Director James Comey will testify publicly as early as next week before the Senate to confirm accusations that President Donald Trump attempted to obstruct his agency’s probe into alleged connections between top Trump campaign associates and Russia. No official date has been set for Comey’s testimony, but CNN reports that the final details…
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Trump Drunk-Tweets ‘Covfefe,’ and We Have a Lot to Discuss
The problem isn’t that the old man in the White House can’t spell—hell, he’s been unable to spell since he took office, as he demonstrates by consistently tweeting misspelled words. It’s that the president of the United States is late-night drunk-tweeting incomplete sentences with made-up words. President Donald Trump tweeted, “Despite the constant negative press…
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#NotTheOnion: Trump Tells World Leaders to Call Him on His Cellphone
If this weren’t a matter of national and global security, the jokes would write themselves. President Donald Trump has been handing out his cellphone number to world leaders and telling them to call him “late night when you need my love” directly, raising security concerns for anyone with common sense. Trump has insisted that Canadian…
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Everything to Know About Trump Scandals This Week
President Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared “Got Dem Visas” Kushner, wanted to have a burner phone in the White House that was directly connected to Russia; the White House communications director has resigned; and someone tweeted some fake-ass message from Trump’s presidential Twitter account—you know, the one he doesn’t use—to condemn the terrorist attacks in Portland,…