Donald Trump
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President Pussy Grabber Damn Near Stumps for Accused Sex Offender Roy Moore, Because of Course He Would
Let’s be clear about something: Asking President Donald Trump, an accused sex offender, about Alabama Republican Roy Moore, the U.S. Senate candidate who’s been accused of sexual assault, is like asking Harvey Weinstein to comment on R. Kelly. It’s weird to even ask the president’s position considering his infamous soundbite and alleged track record, but…
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How to Survive in America When You’re Black and Your Hometown Is Donald Trump’s Base
I grew up in Allen County, Ohio. I lived in the county seat of Lima and attended school in the village of Elida. The show Glee takes place in my hometown, and I have never watched a single episode of Glee, but I often use this fact to help orient people to where I grew…
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Trump Is Making the GOP Look Like Fake Russia Hawks
President Ronald Reagan may go down as the greatest Russia hawk in U.S. history. His tough stance against the Soviet Union’s expansionism and his efforts to support anti-Soviet movements in former communist-bloc states helped lead to the USSR’s fall in 1991. His “Tear down this wall” speech at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin on June…
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‘Disrespectful’ and More Things White People Say When They Really Want to Call Black People the N-Word but Can’t
Like the devil—who I’ve heard is a 3-handicap golfer and makes a killer sangria—Donald Trump is not without his good qualities. He’s a great, Zoolander-level squinter. Perhaps one of the world’s all-time great squinters. He’s apparently amazing at purchasing and eating KFC. It’s not a game with Trump’s Chicken Littles combo-eating game. When Donald Trump…
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Trump Supporter Accused of Threatening to Kill Rep. Maxine Waters in Racist Voicemail Remains Free on Bail
A San Pedro, Calif., man who clearly must have lost his damn mind is accused of threatening to kill Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) in a hateful, racist voicemail, all because the little snowflake was so upset about Auntie Maxine’s criticisms of the dotard in chief. The Los Angeles Times reports that 44-year-old Anthony Scott Lloyd…
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LaVar Ball vs. Donald Trump: The Epic CNN Smackdown
If there is ever a lesson to be learned about LaVar Ball, it is that the man has powered up on his smack-talk game, and you will never be able to best him at it, even if you bring him on your CNN news show in an attempt to do so. Unfortunately, CNN host Chris…
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5 Common Household Items That Are More Intelligent Than Donald Trump
When your president is a bumbling buffoon who insists on proving that he is a bumbling buffoon on a daily basis, eventually even the people you think would be on his side will get tired of pretending that he is anything but an idiot and will start openly remarking on his idiocy. Such is the…
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LaVar Ball Just Won
Sentient Mr. Potato Head with Larry David-brand Asperger’s LaVar Ball successfully trolled the world’s biggest troll into . . . 1. Saying LaVar Ball’s name. 2. Saying his middle son’s name. 3. Placing them both smack dab in the middle of an international incident. 4. Making LaVar Ball’s name known on an international level. 5.…
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Should Congress Take Away Trump’s Authority to Pre-Emptively Launch a Nuclear Strike?
Over the past few months, members from both chambers of Congress have expressed doubt over whether President Donald Trump should retain the presidential authority to unilaterally launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike. His temperament, childish Twitter rants about North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and reckless language over nuclear use have frightened some lawmakers into introducing…
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Judge of Characters: Trump Helps Black People Now?
To hear the authorities tell it, UCLA basketball players LiAngelo Ball, Jalen Hill and Cody Riley all decided that stealing from a store while their team was in China was the best idea ever, and they were subsequently caught, arrested and faced 10 years in a Chinese prison. But then the impossible happened! Your president,…