Donald Trump
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Kavanaugh’s Confirmation Proves White Male Privilege Is Invincible
His confirmation might come as a shock to some, but for many of us, it was a foregone conclusion.
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Not Like This: Melania Trump Tries to Middle Ground #MeToo (and Frankly, It’s Gross)
You know, there are times I actually feel sorry for Melania Trump. (Sorry, brain freeze.) But seriously, what must it feel like to go from a station in life where Vogue was producing cover stories on your wedding and opulent, gold-plated lifestyle to high-fashion shade like this: On her recent first major solo trip abroad…
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Alec Baldwin Wants You to Know Black People Really, Really Love His Trump Impression
In a new interview with the Hollywood Reporter, Alec Baldwin lets loose more than a few thoughts he could have either 1) kept to himself, or 2) worked through with a close group of wise and even-tempered friends. But Baldwin did not do those things, opting instead to let loose a bunch of cringe-worthy statements…
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USA Today Allows Trump to Publish Fake News
For some reason—possibly because USA Today is trying to get into the good graces of the president, or maybe they just wanted some press—USA Today allowed the Donald J. Trump to publish an op-ed that is full of mistruths that only become apparent when you’re done reading the lies. In short, USA Today published fake news.…
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Stephen Miller’s 3rd Grade Teacher Confirms Long-Held Speculation That He Ate Glue: Report
Donald Trump’s senior political adviser Stephen Miller has always been a weird dude. Given that his third-grade teacher confirmed that fact, there’s little hope that anything will change. In 1993, little Stephen was an 8-year-old third grader who used to kill small animals ate glue. Fine, he never killed small animals. Well, no small animals…
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Kanye West to Meet With Donald Trump to Discuss Things About a Lot of Stuff
In what is sure to be the lowest collection of IQs in a 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue room since George W. Bush cuddled with Millie, his puppy, President Donald J. Trump will host rapper, designer and iconic sayer of stupid shit, Kanye Kardashian West, at the White House. The New York Times reports that on Thursday,…
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Donald Trump Thinks Racial Profiling Will Solve Gun Violence in Chicago
During a taxpayer-funded White House trip to Orlando, Fla., Donald Trump told a group of police officers from all across the country that law enforcement in Chicago should start the slave patrols back up again implement a “stop and frisk” policy if they want to put an end to the gun violence that plagues the…
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Trump Pushes Conspiracy Theory, Claims Sexual Assault Survivors Confronting Senators Are Paid Actors
President Donald Trump has gone full Alex Jones, pushing a conspiracy theory about sexual assault survivors who’ve confronted senators about their support for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, a man who has been accused by multiple women of sexual misconduct. According to Huff Post, Trump claims that the women who’ve tried to humanize the face…
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I Just Want These Raggedy Shitstains to Lose
In a Billboard cover story last week, knapsack enthusiast J. Cole admitted that he didn’t vote in the 2016 presidential election, claiming that while he would have voted for Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton just didn’t motivate him. Naturally, he was roundly criticized for this—particularly since he’s considered to be (and shrewdly positioned himself as) an…
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Trump Is the Soulja Boy of Presidents; Drops 138 Spots on Forbes List
President Donald Trump and Soulja Boy have a lot in common. Both are self-made. Both can truly spin a yarn. Both have made outlandish claims of wealth and extravagance. One “Superman’d a hoe” while the other had his un-spray-tanned buttocks smacked with a rolled-up Forbes magazine. Both are full of shit. Speaking of Forbes ……