Donald Trump
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Michael Bloomberg Warns Fellow Billionaire Howard Schultz Not to Run for President
What’s better than one billionaire? Two? Not so fast. With the house that Benjamin Banneker saved occupied by a purported billionaire and a Democratic field more crowded than a Wu Tang live performance, political donors and pundits remain clueless as to the eventual nature of the 2020 presidential race. While announcements trickle in and rumors…
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Donald Trump on the State of the Union: Mother May I? Nancy Pelosi: Yes, You May
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi continues to son the shit out of your little “president.” In her latest gathering of the sniffer-in-chief, Pelosi finally gave Donald Trump permission to give the State of the Union address he has been so desperate to deliver. In a letter made public via Twitter by her deputy chief of staff,…
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Bravely Emerges From Her Crypt for the 1st White House Press Briefing in 41 Days
Last week, your little “president” got on Twitter and said the reason White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders had not given a press briefing in a month was because the press was too mean to her and reported on her statements “inaccurately.” No one reported on Sanders inaccurately; the White House and the Trump…
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OK, It Might Be Time to Forgive Chrisette Michele
I’ll preface this article with a full admission that I was never a diehard Chrisette Michele fan. Like many in the culture, I noted her as an undisputed vocalist who could sing sing, resting comfortably at the table with other current singers who sang sang. You know, the unofficial Award Show Tribute Collective founded by…
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Roger Stone Has Nixon's Face Tattooed on His Back and Other Things That Might Help Him in Prison
Roger Stone, the informal adviser to President Donald Trump, was arrested Friday morning in his Florida home and charged in special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation with one count of obstruction, five counts of making false statements, and one count of witness tampering. From Vanity Fair: Stone’s alleged crimes stem from his contacts with WikiLeaks,…
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White House Squatter Mulls Fake National Emergency to Secure Border Wall Funds
The current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C., is preparing to falsify a national emergency along the southern border in order to bypass Congress’ refusal to fund his steel-slatted fever dream. After being put in his place again (and again) by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi over his plans to carry on…
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Is Kellyanne Conway the White House Snitch?
Books on the White House are becoming the struggle rapper mixtapes from the 1990s or the podcasts of now—everyone has one. But if this newest book is even remotely true, then Kellyanne Conway is the “number one leaker” in President Donald Trump’s White House. Which would be both troubling and amazing. Troubling only because Kellyanne…
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The Gangsta Rapper President
Now this is a story all about howWhite America got tricked, turned upside downI’d like to take a minute, so sit right thereI’ll tell you why Trump’s a gangsta rapper who stole Ice T’s hair. Ever since Donald Trump became America’s 45th president, I have had a sense of nigga vu about him. Wait. You’ve…
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Donald Trump Said He Was Going to Give His Little Speech Anyway. Shorter Nancy Pelosi: I Said What I Said
A woman put your “president” in his place today, and he is mad about it. Exactly one week ago, Speaker Nancy Pelosi simply asked the “president” to postpone the State of the Union address until the government reopened. But because Trump has the temperament of a three-year-old who has missed his nap, he threw a…
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Donald Trump Is the ‘Grand Wizard of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue,’ According to Rep. Hakeem Jeffries
We all have opinions about and creative names for Donald Trump. He leaves himself open to plenty of criticism, so it’s easy to come up with disparaging things to say about him. You simply need to pick a topic like his racism, his lack of intelligence, his troubling policies, the fact that he is a…