Donald Trump
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We Need to Talk About President Trump's Sister Maryanne
Trump has a sister. (Who knew?) Her name is Maryanne Trump Barry. Imagine Trump wearing a powdered wig combed back with a puff on top, and you’d have Maryanne. She used to be a federal appellate judge, then all of sudden, she retired. I’m sure that retirement had nothing to do with a judicial investigation…
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Trump Administration Wanted to Release Detained Immigrants to Sanctuary Cities to Target Those Who Opposed the President's Border Wall: Report
Because the Trump administration takes its cues from The Walking Dead and thus believes that immigrants crossing the border are akin to zombies, a new report reveals that Trump officials tried to pressure the Department of Homeland Security into releasing walkers detained immigrants into sanctuary cities as retaliation against those who opposed the president’s plan…
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Former Migrant Baby Stealer Kirstjen Nielsen’s Colleagues Think She’s ‘Completely and Totally Unhirable’
Former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, thief of migrant children, is going to have a tough time finding a new job because she was the head of the migrant baby stealing program and people outside the Trump administration don’t like baby stealing! According to the Atlantic, folks close to Nielsen say that in normal situations…
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Lawyer Michael Avenatti Indicted on 36 Charges, Including Embezzling Settlement Money From a Paraplegic
Michael Avenatti at one point was looking like a young Jon Snow, posed to take down the Trump administration. And now he’s out here looking like Ramsay Bolton. A federal grand jury in California has indicted the former attorney for Stormy Daniels on 36 counts, including embezzling from a paraplegic client, court documents released Thursday…
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Warner Bros. Shuts Down Trump 2020 Video for Using Dark Knight Rises
Not so fast, Donald Trump! That was basically Warner Bros.’ stance after Trump and his team apparently took it upon themselves to use music from The Dark Knight Rises to accompany a video promoting Trump’s 2020 re-election hopes. On Tuesday, Trump tweeted out the video, which featured an odd collection of imagery—among them, Washington landmarks,…
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Trump to Screen Controversial Anti-Abortion Film at White House
In a decision sure to further shore up support among his pro-life base, Donald Trump is set to screen the controversial anti-abortion film Gosnell at the White House Friday. The crowdfunded film that chronicles the trial and conviction of Philadelphia abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell will be shown by invitation to a group of pro-life activists…
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Wait, What? Attorney General Claims Spying Occurred on Trump's Campaign Then Provides No Evidence
Attorney General William Barr, who is not John Goodman’s twin brother, slipped up and let his true inner Trump supporter show. During Barr’s Senate Appropriations Committee, which was supposed to be about his 2020 budget—but no one cares about that when you have the man who decided that there wasn’t even a case to prosecute…
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Trump Calls Mueller Probe an 'Attempted Coup' In Another Unhinged Rant That's Become a Staple of His Presidency
After taking a shower in pig vomit and playing a full game of golf in the Oval Office in which Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) held the president’s golf tee in his mouth while wearing only an adult diaper, the president claimed on Wednesday that special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation was nothing more than an “attempted…