Donald Trump
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New York Times' Report on Trump's Taxes Confirms He Is the Worst Businessman in the World, and Don Lemon's Got Jokes
In what may be the undoing of Donald Trump’s facade as the biggest, wealthiest businessman to every lace up his hard bottoms, a new report shows that Trump is exactly who we thought he was: an idiot who inherited his father’s fortune and pissed it away making bad business deals. In a scathing report by…
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White House to Former Counsel Don McGahn: Ignore Those Congressional Subpoenas, We Got You
The White House is continuing its efforts to defy Congress as new reports note that the Trump administration has directed former White House counsel Donald McGahn not to comply with a Congressional subpoena related to Robert Mueller’s investigation. Despite McGahn now being a private citizen, the White House is arguing that asking for documents related…
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Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin Is Willing to Eat Trump's Tax Returns to Keep Democrats From Seeing Them
On Monday, the Trump administration rejected House Democrats request to turn over the president’s tax returns, which is funny considering that Satan’s favorite orange pair of slippers has stated several times that he couldn’t turn over his taxes because he was being audited. Well, it turns out that being audited doesn’t prevent the president from…
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Mitch McConnell Leads the Pack in Race to Climb the Farthest Up Trump's Ass
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is leading the three-man race to become Trump’s favorite set of anal beads. So far, after two years in office, the race to be Trump’s whipping boy has been a three-way tie between California Rep. Devin Nunes, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, and McConnell. All three men have gone…
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Trump Rides High on the Tiger: Awards Woods Presidential Medal of Freedom
Donald Trump did as promised Monday and awarded golf great Tiger Woods with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor, during a ceremony in the White House Rose Garden. Trump called Woods, whom he’s known for a number of years, a “global symbol of American excellence,” and a “true legend.” “He’s also…
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Kamala Harris Promises Her 2020 Administration Will Combat 'Hate,' Hold Social Media Platforms 'Accountable'
On Sunday, during the NAACP’s Fight for Freedom Fund Dinner in Detroit, presidential hopeful Kamala Harris announced that she’ll hold social media platforms “accountable” for “hate” should she be elected president in 2020. “We will hold social media platforms accountable for the hate infiltrating their platforms, because they have a responsibility to help fight against…
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Michael Cohen, Trump's Former Fixer, Starts Prison Sentence at Reality D-List Overnight Camp That Houses 'The Situation'
Michael Cohen is proof that life comes at you fast. In one breath, the slime-ball attorney was claiming that he’d take a bullet for the president of the United States, his friend and former client. In another, he spilled the beans, the Lipton, the espresso and the Takis to try and save himself from going…
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Sign of the Times: Rep. John Lewis Admits He's Less Hopeful in 2019 Than He Was on Bloody Sunday
If there’s anyone who can serve as a barometer on how messed up things have gotten in this country, it would be U.S. House Rep. John Lewis. And according to the Civil Rights trailblazer known for getting into good trouble, the U.S. is now in “deep trouble.” In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Lewis…
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Former Trump Chief of Staff Joins Board Overseeing 'Prison-like' Facility for Migrant Children
Former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has joined the board of Caliburn International, owners of Comprehensive Health Services Inc., which operated a Florida facility for children described as “prison-like” by congressional Democrats. Kelly, who left the White House in January, was already on the board before his stint serving under Trump. He stepped…