Donald Trump
-
Meet the Black Preacher Invited to the White House to Spread the MAGA Gospel
After years of being left out of the Marvel Universe as the arch-nemesis to everything black, including Colin Kaepernick, Eric Holder, Barack Obama, the NAACP and—no, I’m not kidding—love, Bill Owens, the infamous negro pastor and possessor of the homophobic Infinity Stone, finally got his day in the sun when he was invited to the…
-
Trump Claims the Blacks Love Him More After He Bashed Baltimore. So He Bashed Charm City Some More
President Trump does this thing that I used to do when I was a cheater. That thing is lying. But it’s not just lying, it’s a form of lying that isn’t easy to disprove. It looks like this: You make a claim and then claim that said claim is supported by hundreds if not thousands…
-
President Trump Is a Modern-Day Forrest Gump
To hear the president tell it, he was with John F. Kennedy the night before he was shot and Trump warned JFK that riding in a convertible wasn’t a good move. Trump was also with Neil Armstrong on the moon, although he wasn’t pictured in any of the shots. Before the 1981 NFC Championship game,…
-
All the Times Donald Trump Tweeted the Word ‘Infested’
On Saturday, Donald Trump woke up rage-tweeting about Rep. Elijah Cummings’ district, which includes most of Baltimore, describing the city as “rat and rodent infested.” Although I first thought the remark was a compliment because the Yelp reviews for Mar-a-Lago frequently mention the resort’s large population of free-range mice, I quickly realized that Trump was…
-
Sen. Rand Paul Offers to Buy Rep. Ilhan Omar a Plane Ticket Back to Somalia
Republican Rand Paul is Kentucky’s junior senator, which is kind of like starting on a JV squad. He’s a scout team member who is not really ready for primetime. He sits at the kids’ table during Thanksgiving and yet, despite that, Paul is still in the running to become Trump’s favorite grape feeder. In the…
-
Trump Keeps Doing These Racist Morning Tweetstorms Because They Work
President Trump started out as the racist old man standing on his Twitter lawn yelling about the black kids driving fast through the neighborhood. Yes, he’s only yelling at the black kids, because he’s racist. With time and higher approval ratings, the further he goes into his racist bag; the president is becoming more emboldened,…
-
#WeAreBaltimore: Residents, Mayor, Even the City's Newspaper Clap Back at Trump After Vile, Racist Tweets
After the president labeled Baltimore “a very dangerous & filthy place” that is “rat and rodent infested mess” and where “no human being would want to live,” the residents of Charm City and many others refused to let that slander lie and came to the city’s defense. This all started after the president dropped a…
-
The President Was Up Early Rage Tweeting About Rep. Elijah Cummings [Updated]
President Petty, apparently tired of directing racist tweets toward the four congresswomen known as “the Squad,” found a new target to point his Twitter fingers at this morning. Just after 7 a.m. on Saturday, President Trump dropped several tweets about Rep. Elijah Cummings, calling the Maryland Democrat a “brutal bully”(ain’t that the pot…!) whose district—which…
-
Supremes Give Trump Green Light to Use Military Funds to Build His Precious Wall
By a 5-4 vote Friday night, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Donald Trump can co-opt funds meant for the military to fund his beloved wall at the southern border between the U.S. and Mexico. Trump trumpeted the ruling on Twitter as a “BIG VICTORY,” which came in the form of a one-paragraph, unsigned finding…
-
Pelosi, Ocasio-Cortez Make Nice and Come to a Meeting of the Minds
Looks like Nancy Pelosi and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have decided to bury the hatchet. The dean of the House Democrats and the high-profile star of the party’s progressive wing met Friday behind closed doors to “clear the air,” as the Associated Press reports. The meeting came about after the two have traded sharp words, culminating with…