Donald Trump
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Mitch McConnell Says He'd 'Absolutely' Support Another Trump Presidency Despite Trump Calling Him a 'Political Hack'
That’s it: Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell shall henceforth be known by the name Trump’s-Lil’-Bitch McConnell. That’s all you can call him after ex-President Donald Trump referred to McConnell as “a dour, sullen, and unsmiling political hack,” and the Kentucky senator and senior citizen Yertle the Turtle cosplayer responded by telling Fox Snooze’s Bret Baier,…
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Federal Judge in Texas Rules Government's COVID-Related Eviction Moratorium Is Unconstitutional
Sometimes it really feels like America is The Bad Place. On the heels of the depressing news that a long-overdue increase of the federal minimum wage to $15 will no longer be included in the COVID-19 relief bill currently in Congress comes a federal court ruling that will undoubtedly make life harder for Americans already…
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Wisconsin Group Tried to Purge Nearly 17,000 Eligible Voters Because Voter Suppression Is the Republican Way
Republicans don’t want non-Republicans voting. This statement is as factual as “Two plus two equals four.” Don’t get me wrong: I’m sure Democrats would also not fall into a deep depression if every Republican voter on Earth suddenly caught the Thanos snap, but they’re not the ones actively trying to limit voter access, delegitimize legally…
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Alleged Capitol Rioter Identified After Ex-Girlfriend Shared Berating Texts Sent From the Capitol With the FBI
It’s been going on close to two months since the redneck Taliban attacked the U.S. Capitol building because the Republican mafia led them to believe the 2020 election had been stolen. But the FBI is still identifying and arresting people suspected of taking part in the whiney and wrong wypipo war on non-MAGA votes. A…
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It’s Finally Happened: Manhattan District Attorney Has Trump’s Tax Returns
There are only a few things harder than getting your hands on Trump’s tax returns. The first is getting Washington Football Team owner Dan Snyder not to objectify his cheerleaders. The second is having fewer commercials for Coming to America 2. The third and probably most difficult is getting Jared Kushner not to look like…
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Q Is Smart, Q Is Kind, Q Is Important: A Response to Tucker Carlson's Allegation That QAnon Doesn't Exist
Dear Mr. Carlson, Between my morning briefing on the status of the Democratic Party’s sex trafficking and my afternoon insurrection workout (mostly just police-beating exercises with a flagpole), I was informed by one of my most loyal parishioners (who may or may not represent Georgia’s 14th Congressional District) that you have been spreading lies and…
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Prosecutors Say 20-Year Veteran of NYPD Attacked Cop at Capitol ‘Like a Junkyard Dog,’ Beat Him With Metal Pole
A former officer with the New York Police Department, whose duties once included guarding City Hall and the mayor’s residence, has been charged in what prosecutors describe as a rabid attack on a Capitol officer during the Jan. 6 insurrection. Thomas Webster, a 54-year-old man who spent 20 years with the NYPD before retiring, is…
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The Supreme Court Just Told Trump He Must Hand Over His Tax Returns
What is the difference between OnlyFans and Donald Trump’s tax returns for the last eight years? A New York grand jury would have to pay to see nudes on OnlyFans but they are about to see Trump’s butt-ass naked taxes for free. That’s because The Supreme Court, aka the Court of all courts, aka the…
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Trump to Speak at White Freaknik, aka the Conservative Political Action Conference
The problem with Donald Trump is that white people, (I know, not all white people, but a lot of y’all) love him. They really believe that he is a messiah or a magician or a madman but they aren’t just enthralled by his antics, they are literally in lockstep with his bullshit. So because the…