dating, relationships, & sex
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A "Mixed Signal" Is Not A Mixed Signal
Imagine you’re a pilot. Not a fake pilot like Frank Abagnale. But a real actual pilot who does real actual pilot shit. You’re flying a plane from LaGuardia to Dulles. It’s 10pm and there’s a storm, so the visibility isn’t great, but it’s nothing you haven’t experienced before. Because, again, you’re a motherfucking pilot. You…
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Marriage Is Awesome And Amazing And All That Great Shit. It's Also Hard As Fuck.
Last week, The Wife Person and I had a “we’re not arguing, but we’re not completely good” four day stretch that began while binge watching Game of Thrones and ended in the parking lot of a Market District Giant Eagle. We celebrated the end of our mini cold war with gelato shakes and pizza, and listened to Radiohead’s…
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I Love Boobs And You Love Boobs…So Why Can't We Love Boobs Together?
You know what’s great? Boobs. Do you know how I know they’re great? Because nearly everybody loves them. Men love them. They make us happy. Women love them? They are orbs worthy of appreciation. Everybody can appreciate curves it seems. Even kids love them. They remind them of pillows. And who doesn’t love pillows? Have…
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On Being A Diehard Sports Fan…And Marrying Someone Who Doesn't Give A Shit About Sports
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the NBA playoffs. This, the two month span between mid-April and mid-June, is my favorite time of the year. Not my favorite sports time. There are no qualifiers. No other time of year — not my birthday, not Thanksgiving, not the season premiere of Hannibal — gives me as much…
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Intimacy Compatibility: The Most Underrated Part Of A Happy Relationship
Rarely does a week pass without someone asking me what married life is like. I usually provide the same answer (“It’s…just like life before marriage. Except now you have God’s blessing to have sex in Macy’s dressing rooms.”), but it always feels incomplete. Mainly because the best way to describe married life is to provide…
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Ladies, What's Up With the Late Night, Last Minute, When I'm Trying To Sleep, We Need A Resolution Convos?
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Man and woman get into argument about something. It doesn’t matter what its about. It could be about Obama’s favorite Jordans. Or whether or not Season 3 of House of Cards was any good and advanced the cause of dismantling FEMA. Or an argument about Beyoncé and…
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"I Like Big Butts. And I Cannot Lie." Says Science
I don’t know exactly when it happened. I suspect it occurred sometime during the second semester of my freshman year in high school, but I don’t know why then or what caused it. What I do know, though, is that butts came out of nowhere. I never paid much attention to girl’s butts before then.…
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A Dude's Take on Amber Rose, Wiz Khalifa, Kanye West, Slut Shaming, and Messy Breakups
Niggas have been trippin’ a lot lately, bringing all the Louis Vuitton luggage with them. Let’s unpack, shall we? Yes, let’s. Amber Rose is having both the best and worst last few weeks ever. Now she seems built for all of this so “worst” is more of a “nuisance” than it implies she’s holed up somewhere…
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Every Conversation I've Ever Had With A Woman Who Prefers Much Older Men
“So, I’ve noticed you seem to prefer to date guys who are quite a few years older than you.” “Define quite a few.” “Stop it. You know what I mean. Whichever age discrepancy officially makes the man an older man. For a 19 year old woman, an older man would be a 26 year old…