covid-19
-
Fla. Governor Continues to be a Goddamn Idiot, Has No Plans to Do Anything as COVID-19 Cases Continue to Rise
Have you ever heard the story of how Florida was created? It all started with a chicken sandwich. God hadn’t quite built up his body to handle all of the grease from the Popeyes crunchy chicken offerings and well, he started to get a bit sick. Finally, after sweating and grabbing his stomach, God leaned…
-
Fox & Friends to Trump: Please Wear a Mask Over Your Anus-Like Mouth (I’m Paraphrasing a Bit)
The shadow president known to the American public as Fox News is getting tired of Trump’s shit and has asked, practically begged, the president of people who fry snacks to wear a goddamn mask over his anus-shaped pie hole because he’d be modeling good practices and would stop being such a dick. “I think that…
-
It Took 3 Hours to Delete the President’s ‘White Power’ Tweet Because No One Could Reach Him. He Was Out Golfing…During a Pandemic
I stand before you ashamed. I never thought that I would have to apologize to you but I must. See, all this time I’ve been arguing that a racist third-grader has been widely tweeting from the president’s official Twitter account and I was wrong. Grossly wrong. Not only did it turn out that the president…
-
As U.S. Faces Surge in Coronavirus Cases, Study Shows Black Americans Most Likely to Know Someone Who's Died from the Virus
Across the world, coronavirus cases are popping up again. But in few other countries has the virus had as disastrous a toll as it has in America, which has failed to meet the challenge of managing the worst public health crisis in the century. It’s worth asking if that mismanagement is due, in part, to…
-
Jayson Tatum's Next Contract Could Be an Unexpected Casualty of the Coronavirus
When last we left the Boston Celtics, Jayson Tatum was ballin’. The Duke product, who spent his summer under the tutelage of Kobe Bryant in 2018, had finally blossomed into the superstar we all knew he had in him. He was a dual-threat who could score with ease and just so happened to be one…
-
Arizona City Councilman Apologizes After Saying 'I Can't Breathe' at Anti-Mask Rally
To live in Arizona is to perpetually exist in one long, heavy sigh. If it’s not being embarrassed by the actions of your fellow citizens, you can be damn sure the elected officials will do something that is just inhumanly trash. Take for instance Scottsdale City Councilman Guy Phillips who, CNN reports, mockingly said “I…
-
So Now That the Dust Has Settled, Who's In and Who's Out of the NBA Bubble?
When the NBA announced its plans to resume its NBA season at the ESPN Wide World of Sports in Orlando, it gave players two options: either partake in the festivities, and enjoy job perks like reduced salaries and being kept away from their families until after the first round of the playoffs, or stay home…
-
Damn, Y'all. Vince Carter Is Really Done
In a past life, I hated Vince Carter. My girlfriend at the time did a horrendous job of hiding her high school crush on the recently drafted, North Carolina product. So as he spent his rookie season defying gravity and performing the type of aerial stunts typically reserved for a trapeze artist, I stewed with…
-
Study Finds Black Lives Matter Protests Didn't Lead to Growth in Coronavirus Cases
When the massive Black Lives Matter demonstrations began in May, it was unclear how they might impact the country’s ongoing coronavirus pandemic. According to a new study published earlier this month by the National Bureau of Economic Research, the nationwide demonstrations don’t appear to be linked to spikes in coronavirus cases. In fact, there’s some…