congress
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Michael Cohen Is Ready to Sing Like National Anthem Marvin Gaye, Will Give Up Dirty Details on Trump to Congress
The president’s former fixer and attorney Michael Cohen has reportedly asked for a half tux/half gown number to rival Billy Porter’s Oscar ensemble, because he’s about sing like a young Michael Jackson with the wide nose. Cohen is set to testify before Congress on Wednesday, and he’s supposed to be dropping his hits “Donald Trump…
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Ayanna Pressley Opposes Increased ICE Funding: ‘They’ve Proven Themselves Corrupt’
Donald Trump may not have gotten his wall on the U.S./Mexico border, but a new bill approved by Congress yesterday may still give him and his administration plenty of means to harass, detain, and deport tens of thousands of undocumented immigrants and migrants. Among the lawmakers who pushed back against the bill, which would substantively…
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Dealmaker-in-Chief Trump Intends to Sign Border Deal for Pennies on the Dollar
Though Trump may look for a loophole, it seems there will be no wall after all. Despite his unhappiness with the tentative deal reached by Congress earlier this week, CNN reports that Trump will sign a border security deal to avoid another government shutdown, weeks after the longest on record. Congress has until Friday to…
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Trump Says He's Not 'Happy' With Border Deal and Continues to Lie About the Wall Being Built Right Now
On Tuesday, the president of people who buy jogging baby strollers said he’s not “happy” with a bipartisan agreement to prevent a government shutdown that provides $1.375 billion for fencing and other physical barriers along the Southern border, far less than the $5.7 billion the president has demanded in previous negotiations. “I don’t think you’re…
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Deal Reached in Principle to Avoid Second Government Shutdown
House and Senate negotiators have reached an “agreement in principle” to avoid a second government shutdown. Though the four leading bipartisan negotiators declined to provide specifics on the nature of the agreement, Senate Appropriations Chairman Richard Shelby told reporters that both sides “got an agreement on all of it” when asked if the deal included…
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Democrats Call Trump's Bluff 12 Hours After Investigation Threat
Trump wants it to be one way. He may soon learn it’s the other way. Less than 12 hours after Trump debuted his rhyming threat, ripped from the dialogue of a straight-to-television mob movie, Democrats have asked Trump to walk it like he recently talked it. “If there is going to be peace and legislation,…
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Winter Is Coming: Trump's Female Opposition Will Be Wearing White to the State of the Union
When Donald Trump approaches the podium to wheeze through his sad little State of the Union address Tuesday night (when most of us would rather be watching Phylicia Rashad and Susan Kelechi Watson devour scenery on This Is Us), he will likely be greeted with a sea of white. No, it won’t be the hoods…
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I Don’t Care What Y’all Say, If Buzzfeed Brings Down President Trump, I’m Inviting Them To The Cookout [Updated]
If BuzzFeed’s report that the president told his former lawyer and fixer to lie to Congress about the Moscow Tower turns out to be true and brings down the president, this will be the biggest moment in American history. Therefore, I’m formally requesting that we take a vote to extend one conditional cookout invitation to…
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Rudy Giuliani, Who Was Once Married to His Cousin, Believes Trump's Legal Team Should be Allowed to 'Correct' Mueller Report
President Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, who was once married to his second cousin, believes that Trump’s legal team should be able to see special counsel Robert Mueller’s report on whether Russia colluded to hand Russian Vice-President Donald Trump America’s presidential election before it goes to Congress or the American people so they can correct it.…
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Nancy Pelosi Banged Her "All Lives Matter" Drum Despite Being Given the Perfect Opportunity to Do Otherwise
If you cut your finger, the last thing you want to hear is how precious your other fingers are. It’s a pretty damn easy concept to grasp and yet here we are, still side-eyeing our alabaster compatriots because they’ve proven themselves incapable of not centering themselves. And to that point, our newly reelected Speaker of…