Ciara
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A Lengthy Word On Ciara, Russell Wilson, and Baby Future Calling Him “Papa”
Y’all really got to stop it with the Russell Wilson and Ciara news. And by y’all, I mean anybody who gives enough of a shit about this on-going saga when there are more important things going on to report it and make it part of everyday conversations. In no world should Ciara and Russell Wilson…
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Why Some Men Are So Damn Upset About Ciara’s Relationship With Russell Wilson, Explained
Who is Ciara? You ever watch Step Up or any other movie made in the last decade featuring unrealistically competitive street dance tournaments? You know, the movies where dance-offs inexplicability result in stabbings, shootings, and random appearances from a seasoned Omarion? Well, there’s an 87% chance Ciara was somehow featured on the songs the people…
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On Ciara, And How Some Men Must Really, Really, Really, Really Hate Women
Any automobile produced by Kia. Turkey bacon that’s not Trader Joe’s turkey bacon. Bobby Jindal. The Transformer movie series. Beets. The Bleacher Report. Your opinion on anything if you ever use the phrase “bed wench” unironicially. These are perhaps the only things I’m less interested in than I am in Ciara’s sex life. Seriously, she could…
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I'm A Music Snob…And I'm Somehow Obsessed With Ciara's "I Bet"
Ciara is not known for her vocal prowess. That’s no secret. She has made a career off of being a booty-popper with a cute face and a pleasant tone. And as a self-professed music snob, I have been known to throw shade at those who careers follow similar scripts (Hi J-Lo and Cassie!) But her…
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No Future In Ciara's Future (Except The Baby She Named Future Jr, Of Course)
The future looks grim for Future and Ciara, apparently. Because there’s no Future in Ciara’s future. (Except Future Jr, of course.) Sometimes I think one of the ways God shows us his sense of humor (other than allowing Ann Coulter to exist) is when situations occur that call for one of those waaaaaaaaay too easy puns.…