#blacklivesmatter
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Yeah, I'm Finished With The Black Suffering Trauma Porn Of Orange Is The New Black
Warning: For those of you who do things like have lives and stuff and haven’t gotten around to watching the latest season of this Netflix show, spoilers ahead. Last Friday, Netflix dropped the latest season of Orange is The New Black, the critically-acclaimed dramedy of life in a minimum-security prison centered around Piper “I Didn’t…
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Bill Clinton Is Not An "Honorary Black Person." Bill Clinton Can Go Fuck Off Somewhere
My second favorite line in Anchorman comes when an inebriated Champ Kind admits to a romantic crush he’s had on Ron Burgundy (“I miss your musk… When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!”), and Brian Fantana replies “Take it easy, Champ. Why don’t you sit this next…
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Dear #AllLivesMatter Crew: Dr. King Would Have Thought You Were A Dickhead Too
There’s a scene at the end of Malcolm X where, during a lesson about Malcolm X from their teacher (who I just like 15 seconds ago realized was Mary Alice), Harlem schoolchildren repeat the refrain “I am Malcolm X!” The scene then shifts to a classroom in Soweto (taught by Nelson Mandela) where a group…
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Exactly How Black Was President Obama's Final State Of The Union Address?
Last night, President Barack Obama began the farewell tour of his presidency with his final State of the Union address. It’s already been established that he’s shrouded in a cloak of no fucks; his fuck-drained cape flapping in the wind as he breezes past for one final lap. And, by virtue of being the first…
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Spike Lee Releases Song "WGDB" from Chi-Raq Soundtrack. Misses Point. Offends People.
Oh, Spike. Everybody is currently aware that in a few weeks, Spike Lee’s latest foray into Black hypertension, “Chi-Raq” will be released. The trailer hit the Internet with a bang and had the e-streets and the real streets talking. Some folks are already offended by the movie because of the implied depiction of Chicago. Others…
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Crooked Cop Kills Himself; Death Blamed On #BlackLivesMatter (Wait…What???)
There aren’t many stories that articulate how absurd and ridiculous America’s relationship with race is better than this one. It is layers on layers on layers on layers on layers of ridiculous, dry rubbed with “What the fuck?” marinated in “This is some bullshit” and served with a generous helping of “You need more people” on…
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Dear "Well-Meaning" White People: Progress Is Fucking Painful
17 summers ago, I tore the anterior cruciate ligament in my left knee while attempting a spin move in a pick-up basketball game. I planted awkwardly, my knee twisted a way it wasn’t supposed to twist, and I immediately knew something was wrong. It was painful. But, as many who’ve also torn their ACLs will…
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Stephen A. Smith Is A Sellout
The first thing you have to remember when listening to Stephen A Smith is perhaps the most difficult thing to remember when listening to Stephen A Smith. He is smart. Very, very smart. It is easy to watch him and Skip Bayless hurl gargoyle shit at each other and assume they’re nincompoops. That they only throw the…
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#OscarsSoWhite That Even Their Feminism Is Translucent
So, the Oscars were a thing that happened yesterday. I’ll be honest, I turned it off about 30 minutes after the red carpet fashion show – Neil Patrick Harris joked about how white the audience was and everyone laughed at acknowledging their privilege in a way that was too “yes I’m an asshole but at…
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On #BlackBrunch And Bottomless White Tears
Earlier this week, NYC protesters supporting the #BlackLivesMatter movement decided to take it up a notch and encroach upon “White spaces” in order to express their outrage over police brutality against Black folks. I thought it was a splendid idea. More often than not, creating awareness about an issue to facilitate change means making folks…

