blackest thing
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Why President Obama's Final 4th of July White House BBQ Will Be The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened
It’s been well-established that President Obama discarded the last one of his fucks many moons ago; letting it go the same way Kappas forsake dignity at coed kickball games. We don’t know exactly where he left that last fuck, but my guess would be in a bathroom sink in Ben’s Chili Bowl on U Street,…
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The Best And Blackest Part Of Jesse Williams' Speech Was An Indictment Of Black Men
I first watched Jesse Williams’ speech on a phone in a lobby in a country club in Long Island. I wasn’t able to watch the BET Awards (or the Game of Thrones) live yesterday because I was at a wedding reception there, but knowing both BET and HBO were going to broadcast several re-airings, I planned on watching each when…
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Mary J. Blige Dancing At The Bad Boy Reunion Tour Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
The concept of being unapologetically Black ultimately boils down to a Black person being — or, at least, striving to be — their best self. And believing that this best self includes and doesn’t exclude or contradict with a shameless and unabashed embrace of Blackness. Admittedly, the journey to unapologetic Blackness as a Black American isn’t an…
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Harriet Tubman On The $20 Is, Officially, The Blackest Thing That Will Ever Happen
I was going to create of a list of things Blacker than the face of Harriet Tubman — perhaps the fiercest and baddest person to ever plant a foot on American soil — replacing Andrew Jackson’s on the 20. This list would have included things like a spades game between Nat Turner, Shirley Chisholm, Nikki Giovanni, and…
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The Napa Valley Wine Train Settlement Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
I’ve already touched on the multiple levels of Blackness involved in the story of Sistahs on the Reading Edge; the California book club thrown off a wine train for being too rowdy. Exactly how many levels were there? Good question. Let’s review! 1. A group of Black women in a book club. (Because the only thing Black…
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Bomani Jones's "Caucasians" Shirt Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened Today
Although calling Bomani Jones the Internet’s greatest troll — which is how EBONY’s Jamilah Lemieux introduced him to me through an email a couple years ago — might seem like an insult, it’s not. It’s actually a compliment. Because there are two types of trolling. The first kind is the most common and also happens to…
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The Whitman College Coach With A Different Dap For Each Player Is The Blackest Thing I've Ever Seen This Week
Whitman College is a small liberal arts institution in Walla Walla, Washington. It was established in 1859, in honor of Dr. Marcus Whitman and Narcissa Whitman — Christian missionaries who were killed in 1847 by a group of Cayuse Indians in a massacre aptly named the Whitman Massacre. (Apparently, the Cayuse believed the Whitmans were poisoning them. Perhaps…
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Ben Carson Endorsed Trump For A Job Hook-Up, Which Reminds Us Ben Carson Is Black As Fuck
You can say many things about Ben Carson, the backordered decaffeinated coffee machine who recently dropped out of the presidential race. Iconic surgeon. Popeyes enthusiast. Vigilante. Black History Month book report muse. Delusional motherfucker. But one thing you cannot do is doubt his Blackness bonafides. Yes, his actual politics, if enacted, would have put America back to 1953.…
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106-Year-Old Virginia McLaurin Dancing With The Obamas Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Twitter screenshot via @ObamaWhiteHouse Virginia McLaurin is 106 years old. Which means she was 11 years old during the Tulsa race riots; an act of terrorism that burned the Greenwood District — the wealthiest Black community in the country (aka “Black Wall Street”) — to the ground. 39 people were “officially” killed then. And “officially” is in…
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Kendrick Confirms It: February 2016 Is The Blackest Black History Month Ever
February is the month designated to be Black History Month. It is also the shortest month of the calendar year. This happens to be a coincidence — today’s Black History Month is the evolution of Carter G. Woodson’s “Negro History Week,” created in 1926 and intended to be recognized the second week of February — but I…