black people
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Dear White People Who Write Things: Here's How To Write About Beyonce's Lemonade
Yesterday, to culminate one of the two or three Blackest weeks of my lifetime, Beyonce debuted Lemonade, a beautiful, haunting, brilliant, and Black as all the fucks hour-long visual rendering of her new album. The album, also titled Lemonade, was made available on Tidal (sigh) when the film concluded. Naturally, this film and the album dominated pop culture last…
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The Worst Part Of Buzzfeed's Shockingly Self-Loathing "27 Questions Black People Have For Black People"
It’s been a little over 12 hours since I first saw Buzzfeed’s “27 Questions Black People Have For Black People.” It was shared on the timelines of quite a few of my friends yesterday afternoon, but I didn’t get a chance to actually watch it until last night. And still, 12 hours later, I’m shocked by…
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Rachel Dolezal Still Really Wants To Be Black, Y'all, And I Think We Should Let Her
It’s been almost a year since Rachel Dolezal, everyone’s favorite post-racial turducken, emerged in the public eye, claiming she was a Black woman despite being Whiter than Lena Dunham. At Trader Joe’s. In Spokane. Manning the kale souffle sample station. Naturally, the tale of this unambiguously alabaster woman desperately wanting to be a nigga captivated…
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Ask Agatha: "Should I Correct A Black Coworker Who ALWAYS Misuses Words?"
Dylan from Cincinnati, Ohio asks: Girth or length? Asking for a friend. Um…have you met women? We want both. And if you don’t have both you better be really fucking interesting and by interesting I mean rich. And by rich I mean okay with us seeing other people—like your big swinging dick daddy while you’re…
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Ways Slavery Wasn't Really All That Bad, At Least According To (Some) White People
There’s a bit in one of Patrice O’Neal’s stand-up specials where he talks about how arrogant Americans (generally) are, how proud we are of that arrogance, and that this arrogance about our arrogance is why people from other countries hate us. To make his point, he jokes that people in other countries know who the American…
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The White Person's Guide To Surviving A Terrorist Attack
My Dear Caucasian Brethren, I want to first thank you for allowing me to speak to the Global Society for the Advancement of White People for the third time. It is indeed an honor and a privilege to stand before such luminaries as Hillary Clinton, Taylor Swift, Donald Trump and the entire cast of Exodus:…
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Maybe Black People Aren't Feeling Bernie Sanders Because We're Tired Of People Saying We Should Be
Bernie Sanders’s recent “ghetto” gaffe is the latest in a string of race-related misunderstandings and misjudgments experienced by the senator during his presidential campaign. There was the #BlackLivesMatter thing. And the multiple times he — either himself or through his campaign — brought up his presence in the Civil Rights movement, which is starting to…
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I'm In Love With Black People Who Love Being Black People. And Love Black People
It’s not terribly uncommon for me to write and/or publish a piece that deals with race — whether its a satirical quiz about a certain strain of regressive pro-Blackness or a piece from one of our writers about a reality show featuring women not quite sure if they’re Black — and receive feedback that either questions…
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When Will They Stop Making These Boring-Ass Black People Who Obviously Hate Black People?
There is literally nothing — not The Strain, not Dwight Howard playing basketball — more boring, more tedious, and more cliche than the Black person who spends much of their internet time talking shit about “Black people” collectively in a way that lets you know they either don’t actually know very many actual Black people or just…