bernie sanders
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People Keep Vandalizing Michael Bloomberg's Campaign Offices and the Blame Is Being Pinned on Bernie Sanders
Somebody doesn’t like Michael Bloomberg. Actually, no. That would imply that it’s just a single person. Many people don’t like Michael Bloomberg. Throughout the country, actually. There’s Salt Lake City, Utah, and Knoxville, Tenn.: And don’t forget Ann Arbor and Flint, Mich.: Basically, his campaign offices keep being mistaken for piñatas. But who would do…
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Debate Steel Cage Match: Elizabeth Warren Came to Slay, Michael Bloomberg Died Inside and Amy Klobuchar Almost Cried
On a cold night where all former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg wanted was a sandwich from Subway, he was attacked and beaten by two women and two men who police say were all wearing suits. If Wednesday night’s democratic debate was supposed to be a civil engagement of ideas, it turned into an…
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Elizabeth Warren Exists
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, an evil, pumpkin-colored king named Dottard Grump ruled the land. Evil King Grump spent most of his days lying, obstructing justice, tweeting and playing golf. At night, he traveled across the kingdom to tell more lies and play more golf, coalescing a consortium of evil…
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Bloomberg Is the Real 'Slim Shady,' Warren Says 'Call Me Maybe' and Voters Ask Biden, ‘What Have You Done for Me Lately?’: 2020 Presidential Black Power Rankings, Week 29
The committee loves Valentine’s Day—not just because it’s an excuse to eat lots of candy and make reservations at places that you never cared about going to so that you actually look like you’ve made an effort because last Valentine’s Day we were waiting in line for hours because you refuse to use NexTable—sorry, I…
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Pete Buttigieg and Sen. Bernie Sanders in Tight Race for 1st in an Iowa Caucus That Has Been a Damn Disaster
First off, Iowa is white as hell. Secondly, I don’t even know why Iowa matters but it does and it’s the first election of the presidential primary season, so the numbers matter, but I’m getting a little tired of Iowa being a thing when the Democratic Party is owned by black women. So please stop…
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DNC Debate Rules Forced Diversity Out of the Democratic Presidential Race—and Then They Changed the Rules for a Really Rich White Man
When the race for president began with Sens. Kamala Harris and Cory Booker and former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julián Castro, it was hailed as the most diverse Democratic presidential field in history. By the end of January, damn near every candidate of color had withdrawn from the race. And all of them…
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Why Your Presidential Candidate Is Trash (Yes, Yours Too)
I fondly remember the days when I was “in the tank” for Bernie Sanders. My time as a shill for Bernie only lasted for a few weeks after I “attacked” Pete Buttigieg with “wokeness,” which was followed by the time I “smeared” Joe Biden, which was months after I unfairly distorted Kamala Harris’ record. But,…