basketball
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Looks Like Utah Jazz Guard Grayson Allen Will Continue His White-Privileged, Thuggish Ways in the NBA
Former Duke University guard Grayson Allen is all of the adjectives used to describe white basketball players who are relentless gritty, hard-nosed and scrappy. He’s been called a “real student of the game,” but Grayson Allen is also a term usually used to describe black men: thug. For years, Allen has been one of college…
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LeBron James Is Already the Greatest Laker of the 21st Century
It seems unfair for one sports franchise to receive such fortune. With LeBron’s decision to move to Los Angeles, eight of the NBA’s top 20 players ever will have played for the Lakers while in their prime. For much of this spring and summer—shit, for much of his career—LeBron’s place in the NBA’s legacy hierarchy…
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LeBron James Joins the Los Angeles Lakers With a $154 Million Deal
LeBron fans will soon have a new team to root for! King James will be taking his talents to the Los Angeles Lakers and leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers behind. James will be playing on a four-year, $153.3 million contract, his agency, Klutch Sports Group announced on Sunday. This will be the longest deal that James…
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Baller Alert: Is This the 2018 NBA Awards or the NBA Fashion Awards?
I don’t know much about sports, but what I do know is that NBA players have been getting really adventurous with their outfits lately. Case in point: At the 2018 NBA Awards on Monday, there were plenty of players in the building, but while many likely need to stick to their basketball careers, a lot…
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I Don’t Trust Black Men Who Hate LeBron James
Of course, Golden State’s NBA Finals victory over Cleveland has delivered joy to many different (and occasionally overlapping) groups of people, including but not limited to: Warriors fans. Fans of teams such as the Houston Rockets, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Philadelphia 76ers and any other place that might have a decent shot at landing…
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10 Still-Angry Observations From an NBA Finals Game 1 That Made Me Want to Break Things and Fight People
1. Jordan Clarkson hoops like how the screen would look in the ’90s when you tried watching porn on a pay-per-view channel you didn’t order. 2. I don’t know when exactly the Golden State Warriors became so fucking insufferable, but during Game 1, I realized that I hate them as much as I hate the…
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The NBA Finals Are Just a Contest to See Who Wins the Chance to Refuse Trump’s White House Invitation
Perhaps if the Boston Celtics had beaten the Cleveland Cavs or if the Houston Rockets hadn’t morphed into rancid Twizzlers in the second half Monday night, we’d have a more competitive NBA Finals ahead of us. I don’t believe the Celtics could have beaten the Golden State Warriors, but they have enough long, bouncy and…
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Did Chris Paul Elbow Kevin Durant in the Butthole Last Night?
Below, because I know you’re curious, are the five worst places to be elbowed during a basketball game (in reverse order): 5. armpit (trust me) 4. nose 3. eye Tie: 2. nuts/stomach/ribs 1. butthole (presumably) Anyway, yes. Chris Paul definitely elbowed Kevin Durant in the butthole. Perhaps the first midgame butthole elbow I’ve ever seen.…
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I Took a Knee for the Anthem Before an Alumni Basketball Game … but I Just Felt Silly
I am currently still recovering from the alumni basketball game I played in last weekend, a process that, considering how my back and knee(s) and throat and chest and spleen feel right now, will likely last until June (of 2019). I am hydrating frequently; I am taking longer-than-usual showers; I’ve developed an intimate relationship with…
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The Dumbest (and Most Common) Argument for Why Michael Jordan, Not LeBron James, Is the Greatest Basketball Player Ever
“Don’t be a prisoner of the moment!” said the person on the internet, who is 36 years old, about the reaction to LeBron James’ theatrics against the Toronto Raptors on Saturday. And against the Raptors the game before that. And against the Raptors the game before that. And against the Indiana Pacers the series before…