Barack Obama

  • Old Girlfriends and Authors Are Attempting to Delegitimize Barack and Michelle’s Black Love

    First they tried to delegitimize him by saying he wasn’t born in America. Then they concocted some nonsense about Barack Obama being educated in a Muslim madrassa. When that didn’t work, they tried to say he went to a church that was too black because his pastor preached “liberation theology.” After nearly a decade of…

  • Why Are People Worried About Obama’s Speaking Fees When Sunkist Stalin Is the Real Scammer?

    More often than not and now more than ever, once a sitting president leaves office, he does the following: treats his former status as the most powerful person on earth for the winning Lotto ticket it is. This is done by way of lucrative book fees, high-paid speaking engagements and sitting on a board or…

  • Maybe Katy Perry Is Just an Asshole

    All over the internet, people have been blasting the dead-behind-the-eyes Dollar Tree version of a pop princess known as Katy Perry for the shade she threw at former President Barack Obama in a recent social media post. In an Instagram Live post last week, Perry was addressing the criticism surrounding her recent Justin Beiber-like haircut:…

  • Y’all, They Trying to Tear Barry Down; New Book Claims He Snorted Coke and Cheated on Michelle

    A deplorable has written an “unauthorized biography” that sounds like fiction and claims that former President Barack Obama regularly snorted cocaine and was a man about town. Rising Star: The Making of Barack Obama, written by Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer David Garrow, claims that before Obama rose to fame, he was once a drug-fueled, partying college…

  • Obama Unveils Design for Presidential Library

    While considering the location and design for the site of his future presidential library, Barack Obama said that he held a formal bidding process, but “the fact of the matter was, it had to be right here on the South Side of Chicago.” Today the former president unveiled his plan for an innovative complex that…

  • The Complete Breakdown of Obama’s vs. Trump’s 1st 100 Days

    One hundred days ago, a Harvard-educated, self-made constitutional scholar handed over the White House keys to a stubby-fingered, cheddar-colored colostomy bag in a cheap toupee. To celebrate the fact that Donald Trump has yet to reduce the country to a pile of rubble smoldering under the dark cloud of nuclear winter while roving gangs of…

  • Bigger Than Trump: One-on-One Exclusive With Rep. Maxine Waters [Retracted]

    RETRACTED (6/12/18): This story has been removed because we have discovered it was in breach of our editorial standards. If you’d like to know more, you can read an editor’s note here. A cached version of the story is available here for transparency.

  • We Miss You: Obama Holds 1st Speech Post-Presidency 

    Former President Barack Obama is totally the girl who broke up with us and knows our new girlfriend is an airhead who’s verbally abusive and thinks we could do better. And we, progressive America, are the boyfriend who wants her back. It’s been three months since our breakup with Obama, and we’ve had to endure…

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    Facebook Chastened After Broadcasting a Killing

    Cleveland Reports on Another Horror Obama Indicated He Understood the Hatin’ ‘Not an Emmy Big Enough’ for Oprah in Docudrama Stories of How Racial, Environmental Justice Cross 2013 Destruction in Calif. Presaged Standing Rock Reality Check: Police Still Kill People of Color ‘Weeks and Months Without a . . . Latino Expert’ Undefeated Wins Praise…

  • Remember That Time President Obama Shot a Rainbow Out of His Arm?

    I’ve made a bad habit out of viewing my “On This Day” list curated by Facebook. You know, the list that reminds you of all the stuff you probably shouldn’t have posted on Facebook. A couple of weeks ago, as I was having brunch with someone I didn’t want to have brunch with but only…