Politics
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Tweets That Dems Suffer From 'Trump Derangement Syndrome.' It Didn't End Well
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee, aka Aunt Lydia, aka the Devil’s Mouthpiece, took to Twitter to shame people who don’t support the president because that’s how the Trump administration uses social media. On Wednesday around the time that Suckabee should have been basting herself in cod oil and closing the lid…
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Congressional Hopeful Calls Melania Trump a 'Hoebag,' Claims She Works By the Hour
Congressional candidate Mark Roberts is hot water after an offensive tweet in which he shamed sex workers and claimed that the first lady—she of the esteemed and highly forgotten, stupidly named Michelle Obama ripoff campaign “Be Best”—a “hoebag.” According to Oregon Live, Roberts, an Oregon 2nd District hopeful running as an Independent, was in a…
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On Conspiracy Theories and Election Hacking [Updated]
Editor’s Note (8/1/2018): The original story that appeared here has been updated after editorial review. The reasons are outlined in the updated piece. On Thursday morning, The Root published an article written by this writer asserting my opinion that the 2016 election was hacked by Russian actors and that there is evidence that votes were…
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Trump Doesn't Understand How Buying Groceries Works
Either President Trump is preparing us for the dystopian future after our world war with longtime enemy Canada, or he’s never purchased groceries in his life, or he’s just a lying-ass liar who will say anything to drive home his point to his mindless followers. During a rally in one of those places where corn…
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Paul Manafort Drops His Lawsuit Against Robert Mueller Just as His Own Criminal Trial Begins
The criminal trial for Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman Paul Manafort began Tuesday morning in a federal court in Alexandria, Va. It is the first trial to come out of special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference with the 2016 U.S. presidential election. Things moved very quickly on the first day of court. The…
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Change in the Company Line: Trump Echoes Giuliani's Claim That Collusion With Russia Is Not a Crime
The sun had barely risen on the East Coast, on Tuesday, before the president got his hands on his phone to tweet the same words that just came out of Rudy Giuliani’s mouth: “Collusion is not a crime, but that doesn’t matter because there was No Collusion …” See, on Monday, Giuliani was doing one…
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May We All Have Love Like Obama and Biden
On Monday, an odd couple were spotted putting the band back together as former president of America, and lifelong president to Wakanda (where there are no term limits), Barack Obama, and his vice president and best friend (according to him), Joe Biden stopped to get lunch. The two men, who have been the subject of…
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Old White Men Beef: Trump to Koch Brothers: I Made Them Richer … I Don't Need Their Money or Bad Ideas
President Trump is falling out of favor of Republicans who don’t believe that camouflage is a formal attire. After learning that the villainous Koch brothers held a “retreat” (which was really a secret gathering in a lair) in Colorado Springs, Colo., in which the heavy hitting conservative donors bagged portions of Trump’s presidency, Trump railed…
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Attorney General Jeff Sessions Just Launched an *Insert Racist Dog Whistle* Christian Task Force
On Monday, U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions, the biggest elf to ever do it, just created a “religious liberty task force,” which sounds like a villainous superhero group that gets real close to you and asks if you know Jesus. Seriously, though, the task force sounds great if it were put in place to stop…