Politics
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Trump: Joe Biden Isn’t Pretty or Smart Enough to Box With the God
President Donald Trump’s old ass is age shaming his potential opponents for the presidency as he believes the only real challengers for the Iron Throne (and no, I’m not talking about Trump’s special toilet) are former Vice President Joe Biden, 76, and America’s favorite substitute teacher, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, 77. Trump’s coming in at…
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Trump's Doral Resort Suffering Under the Dictator's Presidency; Net Income Drops 69 Percent in Two Years
This very well could be one of those Trump tax schemes in which he grossly undervalues the property and the income on his resort in order to avoid paying taxes, but one of the crown jewels in Trump’s property portfolio is grossly underperforming. According to a scathing Washington Post report, the Trump National Doral resort…
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Dallas Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Might Run for President Since He Doesn't Think Anyone Can Beat Trump in 2020
It makes sense that after Donald Trump’s improbable, Russian special sauce win for the Iron Throne—aka the White House—any loudmouth, rich, white guy believes he has a shot at being president. Well, enter Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, the latest loudmouth, rich, white guy who recently played coy with CNBC on Tuesday when asked if…
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Lindsey Graham Advised Donald Trump Jr. to Ignore Congressional Subpoena, #LindseyGrahamResign Trends on Twitter
After South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham advised president Donald Trump’s son not to comply with a congressional subpoena and to exercise his Fifth Amendment rights if he does agree to testify, #LindseyGrahamResign began trending on Twitter on Tuesday. On Monday, Graham, also known as Trump’s favorite pair of Hanes, told a group of reporters that…
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There Was a Secret White House Plan for Mass Arrests of Immigrant Families. When DHS Officials Pushed Back, They Were Fired
Former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen had always been the cherry on top of Trump’s orange vomit sundae. She was the PTA-mom face of Trump’s zero-tolerance immigration policy and was not only complicit in Trump’s fake creation of a humanitarian crisis at the border, she testified in front of Congress that migrant children weren’t being…
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Trump Tower, Once the Crown Jewel of Trump Properties, Is Now One of the Least Desirable Luxury Properties in NYC
In the 1980s, well before the great herpes outbreak at Coachella, Trump Tower was the place to be. Many superstars that your parents enjoyed watching on fatback TVs once graced the space, including Michael Jackson, Johnny Carson and Steven Spielberg. Now, Trump Tower, much like the Trump presidency, is trash—high-priced trash but still trash. According…
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Omarosa Wants to Join Lawsuit Brought by Woman Who Says Trump Kissed Her Without Her Consent
Omarosa Manigault Newman, who got bounced ignominiously from her nebulous role on #TeamTrump two years ago, wants to join a lawsuit filed by a lesser-known black Trump campaign staffer that alleges Donald Trump kissed her without asking and paid her and other black staffers less than their white and male co-workers. Omarosa is just claiming…
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The 4 Dumbest Questions of the 2020 Campaign Season
Your teachers all lied to you. There is such a thing as a dumb question. We are literally surrounded by dumb questions every day. By definition, a dumb question is any question where the person being asked the question couldn’t possibly know the answer to what is being asked; and, moreover, any reasonable questioner would…
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Man Who Raised $22 Million for Border Wall Breaks Silence to Say He's Going to Keep Being Silent With Y’all’s Money
The man who started a GoFundMe and raised some $22 million to help build the border wall that only racists, xenophobes and racist xenophobes want and then went radio silent with all that white-nationalist scratch is speaking out. After several news outlets began wondering where all that border wall money went, Brian Kolfage, an Air…
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Trump Just Told Americans Not to Buy American Products Because He Doesn't Understand How Tariffs Work
President Donald Trump was finishing up his Monday morning—this was, of course, after he’d pistol-whipped a panda to death and drank the rancid blood of an owl—and was ready to call it a day when he asked to borrow Jared Kushner’s phone to send a few tweets. Those tweets have basically amounted to the president…