Politics
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NRA Head Reportedly Called Trump to Warn Him That Pushing Firearm Background Checks Wouldn’t Play Well With His Base
Vladimir Putin’s most beloved Russian operative walked onto the White House lawn and told the press that he was “all in favor” of “background checks like we’ve never had before.” “I think background checks are important. I don’t want to put guns into the hands of mentally unstable people or people with rage or hate,…
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Trump Is Absolutely Going to Commute Disgraced Politician Rod Blagojevich’s Sentence—and Here’s Why
It’s hard to remember a time when there was a politician arguably more corrupt than the current president, but that time was 2008, and the man was former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. For those who don’t remember, Blagojevich was such a pariah in office that he was being investigated months after replacing George Ryan in…
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Trump Claimed He’d Show His Taxes. Now He’s Suing California Over New Law That Would Force Him to Show His Returns
President Donald Trump once claimed that if he wasn’t being audited he’d have no problem showing his tax returns. While tax-return flashing isn’t a requirement to be president, it’s been the unspoken norm that all presidents since Richard Nixon have adhered to. As it stands, Trump is the only modern president not to release his…
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Trump Bashes Beto's 'Phony' Hispanic Nickname Before Visit to El Paso
Before heading off to El Paso, Texas, where a white boy trumped up by divisive language from the highest office in the land took the lives of 22 people and injured dozens more, President Racist Thanos found time to send out one more hateful tweet. “Beto (phony name to indicate Hispanic heritage) O’Rourke, who is…
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Calls Out Mitch McConnell After 'Team Mitch' Thugs Groped and Choked an AOC Cutout
A group of vagrants wearing gang logos and insignias spelling out “Team Mitch” posed for a photo showing them assaulting a cardboard cutout of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In the photo, which was spread widely on social media, the future Supreme Court judges can be seen “groping and choking” the freshman representative from New York. All…
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Ohio Lawmaker Blames Mass Shootings on Weed, Trans People, Fatherlessness, and That’s Not All
In the stretchiest stretching of all logic that can be remotely elongated, this might be the biggest stretch of all time by a Republican attempting to blame a mass shooting on anything but bigotry, white supremacy, mental illness or “video games.” After shootings in Dayton, Ohio and El Paso, Texas left 29 people dead and…
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NY Mayor Bill de Blasio Reportedly Used NYPD Security Detail to Move Daughter Out of Apartment
New York Mayor and Democratic presidential long shot Bill de Blasio reportedly used members of his NYPD security detail to move his daughter out of her Sunset Park Brooklyn apartment. According to a source that spoke with the New York Daily News, de Blasio’s daughter Chiara was moved from her apartment on 4th Ave. and…
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White Supremacist President Blames Media, Internet, and Video Games for Mass Shootings, Says Nothing About Guns
If you expected the tragic mass shootings in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio, by two white domestic terrorists (at least one of whom is alleged to be a white supremacist, but neither will be named here, because fuck them), that left some 29 people dead to sway the president to lay off his racist…
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Ben Carson Takes Another Jab at Baltimore, Assumes ‘Young Men Sitting on Porches’ Are Unemployed
As somebody who used to rock a fitted cap almost every time I left my apartment, recently, someone asked me why I had inexplicably stopped. “Because people treat me differently when I don’t have one on,” I said. “I could wear the exact same outfit and depending upon what’s on my head I’ll be considered…