Politics
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Trump Asked John Bolton to Help Pressure Ukraine 2 Months Before the July 25 Call
While all of us have heard about the July 25 phone call that Donald Trump had with Ukrainian President Seymour Shutupsky (like you know his name and how to spell it), according to former National Security Advisor John Bolton’s unpublished manuscript, nearly two months before that call, Trump wanted Bolton to help pressure Ukraine and…
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Iowa Becky: The Hawkeye State Is Gentrifying Black People Out of Democratic Primary Relevance
During the 1976 presidential election, Jimmy Carter was a little-known governor from Georgia with faint name recognition who was a long shot to capture the Democratic nomination. Lacking the charm of Bill Clinton, the smooth-operator status of Barack Obama and the Hollywood pizazz of Ronald Reagan—who he would eventually beat in that 1976 general election—Carter…
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Some Guy I Didn’t Know Was Running for President Is No Longer Running for President
Former Maryland Rep. John Delaney is calling it quits. If I’m being honest, I don’t know who the hell that is. I would also like to add that I live in Maryland and cover politics and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of John Delaney, a Democrat, who was running for president (who knew?). And…
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A Black Woman President by 2040? Stacey Abrams Says That's Her Plan
For many news cycles now, Stacey Abrams has told us one thing: No, I don’t want the presidency, not now. But that doesn’t mean “not later.” I know, I know. Let Abrams live a non-presidential life! And that’s exactly what she’s been doing, making the 2020 elections the fulcrum of her organizing work to ensure…
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Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 10: How the Senate Became the WWE
My parents were going through a divorce when I was 10. They were still trying to learn how to co-parent when my mother got me tickets to go to a WWE (it was the WWF back then) live performance on the condition that my dad would have to take me. My father was annoyed. My…
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President Trump Asked to Provide DNA Sample in E. Jean Carroll Rape Case
Lawyers for a woman claiming that she was raped by President Trump in the 1990s are seeking a DNA sample to test against genetic material reportedly found on the dress she was wearing when the alleged incident occurred. According to an exclusive Associated Press report, lawyers for advice columnist E. Jean Carroll served Trump’s attorney…
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President Trump’s Border Wall Refuses Breathalyzer, Field Sobriety Test After Being Caught Falling Down
Question: What do Trump’s bullshit border wall and the London Bridge have in common? Answer: Both of them shits stay falling down. On Wednesday, images of Trump’s impenetrable border wall, which was supposed to be made of some the toughest rhino skins and strongest elephant tusks, began popping up on Al Gore’s internet. The wall,…
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Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross Learns of Coronavirus Death Toll in China and His First Thought Is It’ll Bring Jobs Back to America!!
Whenever Trump’s Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross thinks about anything, it’s always through a prism of whiteness and opportunity. Learning that a deadly disease is on the verge of causing a pandemic, the first thing Ross thought was how many white people are in China, and then, “Do you have any idea how many companies will…
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Trump’s Impeachment Trial, Day 9: And the Winner Is…
Wednesday marked the first day that senators got to ask questions of both the House managers, aka the A-Team, and Trump’s defense lawyers, aka National Lampoon’s Goes to Congress. And the winner for best question of the day goes toooooo…Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), who asked, “is the president a lying bitch or a bitch that’s…