Politics
-
Coronavirus be Damned, Trump Will Hold Rally Because He Can’t Stop Rallying
There has been one thing consistent in Trump’s life from the time he announced that he was running for president until now: rallying. Trump might hold the record as the most rallying president in the history of America. He’s addicted to rallying. In fact, he can’t stop rallying even when his life may depend on…
-
Democratic Primaries: Joe Biden Beats Bernie Sanders Like He Stole His Tax Refund
At this point, it might be time for independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders to start thanking his supporters and urging them not to be petty Bettys and make sure that they support the eventual Democratic presidential nominee, former Vice President and lifeguard Joe Robinette Biden. Like all-black low-top Nike Air Force 1s, Biden proved to…
-
Trump Trying to Paint Biden as Mentally Unstable Is the Pot Calling the Kettle an Idiot
In today’s “pot-meet-kettle” news, President Donald Trump would like all of America to know that Democratic front-runner Joe Biden—wait for it—may lack the mental capacity to be president. According to Politico, Trump stood before about 500 Republican donors at his Mar-a-Lago resort on Friday to stress his concern that Biden may not have the mental…
-
Cornel West, What You Doin'?
FLINT, Mich—Political surrogates for presidential candidates have a tough job. They have to pitch their preferred candidates’ strengths while avoiding tough questions about their weaknesses and shortcomings in a way that doesn’t excuse them. It’s an impossible mission because all politicians will fail you. They have too many people to please and someone always ends…
-
Matt Gaetz Wore a Gas Mask on House Floor and Now He’s Self-Quarantined After Being Exposed to Coronavirus
Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz is an asshole. That’s it. That’s the story. Seriously, Gaetz is a such an asshole that other assholes who aren’t as good as he is at being an asshole consider him #assholegoals. Rep. Matt Gaetz is such an asshole that he wore a gas mask on the House floor and people…
-
Life After Lockup: Fresh Off a Presidential Pardon, Angela Stanton-King Announces She's Coming for Rep. John Lewis' Congressional Seat
I’m all for people getting a second chance at life, but looking to test that credo is a convicted felon named Angela Stanton-King, who took a break from laying hands on Donald Trump to announce that she’ll be running for a U.S. Congressional seat in Georgia against the much more deserving incumbent, Rep. John Lewis.…
-
Michael Bloomberg Is Trying to Buy His Way Into Heaven, Donates $2 Million to Nonprofit to Register Black Voters
Looks like evil billionaire and former 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful Michael Bloomberg is giving $2 million of his own money to a nonprofit that works to register black voters in time for November’s general election. According to the Palm Beach Post, Bloomberg gave Collective Future, “which is the nonprofit arm of the Collective, a political…
-
Trump Administration Won’t Release Intelligence Report That Warns the U.S. Isn’t Ready for Global Pandemic: Report
Without explanation or warning, the Trump administration reportedly postponed an annual intelligence report that explained that the U.S. isn’t even remotely ready to handle a global pandemic. It was all supposed to go down Feb. 12. That was when the “The office of the Director of National Intelligence (DNI) was scheduled to deliver the Worldwide…
-
Trump Didn’t Know People Died From the Flu. So Who Is Going to Tell Him How His Grandfather Died?
On Friday, while touring the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s headquarters in Atlanta—and this was only after his punk ass backed out of the trip when it was reported that a worker in the center may have tested positive for the virus—Donald Trump noted that he was shocked to hear that people died from…
-
Bernie Has a Shot at Winning Michigan, but His Challenges With Older Black Voters May Doom His Chances
DETROIT—There are few towns in America in which you can gauge black enthusiasm for the political process better than the Motor City. With a population of more than 600,000, close to 80 percent of which is black, it is literally the biggest black city in America. With its population alone, Detroit should determine statewide and…