Politics
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Trump Official Asks Black 60 Minutes Reporter Why They Didn’t Cover Global Pandemics Under Obama. 60 Minutes Pulls Out CVS-Length Receipts
To be fair, White House trade adviser Peter Navarro is a goddamn idiot, so he was grossly outmatched from the time he agreed to sit down with 60 Minutes, but he did it anyway—and got his ass handed to him by the host, the staff and the interns. During his appearance, Navarro—whose qualifications seem to…
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Trump Retweets #FireFauci Because He Hates People Who Tell the Truth
The president is not only a liar, he demands that the people around him push his lies as truth. To this end, it’s always only been a matter of time before the president started looking for ways to get rid of Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.…
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The Chosen President Wishes Everyone a Happy Jesus' Death Day
The president of the United States—the one whom his believers link to Jesus, or, more modestly, God—just wished everyone a “HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY” because he’s not only a fake Christian, he doesn’t understand how any of this works. For those of us forced to wear church clothes on Sunday—I only had three kinds of clothes:…
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Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Is Dumb AF, Claims Coronavirus Hasn’t Killed Anyone Under 25
I know that what I’m about to type may be blasphemous—I’m sheltering-in-place with a toddler who can’t stop watching a video of Hickory Dickory Dock, so I could be delusional—but Ron DeSantis might be the dumbest man in America who doesn’t have the last name “Trump.” On Thursday, this “Florida Man” spouted that the coronavirus…
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Was Trump Gifting Ventilators to His Allies? One Congresswoman Thinks So and She Has Receipts
On Wednesday evening, Rep. Diana DeGette claimed that President Trump was running a little quid-pro-ventilators as he tried to garner political favor during a global pandemic. According to CNN, the Colorado Democrat put in an order for ventilators that went all but ignored. But, when vulnerable GOP Sen. Cory Gardner, who’s also from her state,…
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The Lonely Case for Joe Biden
Joe Biden has been, in order, a dangerous young politician, a disappointing older politician, a laughable Democratic presidential candidate, a middling vice president, an uninspired Democratic presidential candidate, and now an uninspiring Democratic nominee. The most charitable encapsulation of him is that he’s merely a benevolent anachronism in over his head—an innocuous relic yet to…
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Elizabeth Warren Has a Plan to Make Voting Easier and Safer This November—If You're Into That Kind of Thing
It’s hard to remember in the midst of, well, literally everything happening in the world right now, but we are just seven months away from a general election where we will either pick a new president or stay the same disastrous course. There are quite a few reasons to feel some dread about that, including…
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Something Tells Me Joe Biden Is Going to Mess This Up
As a Washington football team fan (until Colin Kaepernick’s protest, when I realized that the Washington team owner is not only a huge asshole but also a huge Trump donor, which is basically saying the same thing), I’m pretty familiar with the idea of a serviceable quarterback. Just a body behind the center calling plays…
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Tiger Beat: Reporter Asks Trump About Pardoning Joe Exotic During a Pandemic
It’s good to know that the reporters over at the New York Post have their fingers on the pulse of America. Currently, the United States is the epicenter of a global pandemic in which people are forced to stay in their homes, death numbers continue to rise and there still appears to be no end…
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Trump Doesn’t Care If You Die Standing in Line to Vote as Long as You’re Voting for Him
President Trump is not a smart man. He is a man of simple things. He demands loyalty. He demands that people see him how he sees himself. He demands that people lie for him. He demands that he win at all costs. So when Trump demands that “Republicans should fight very hard when it comes…