Politics
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Stacey Abrams Makes Her Vice Presidential Goals Clear: 'Black Women Are the Strongest Part of the Democratic Party'
For months, former Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams has played coy on the topic of being someone’s running mate for the 2020 election. But now that former Vice President Joe Biden is the presumptive nominee, Abrams is making her intentions a lot more clear, recently saying she would have concerns if he didn’t pick a…
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Trump Owes State-Owned Chinese Bank a Whole Lotta Bread and That Loan Payment Is Coming Up Soon
Well, what do you know: Turns out that President Trump, aka “Let me get money out of the country because my name is no good here,” owes a shit ton of cash to a state-owned Chinese bank, and that chicken is coming home to get its bread. According to financial records obtained by Politico, the…
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No Mitch-Assness: Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Continues to be a ‘Mitch,’ and This Time, Andrew Cuomo Dunks on Him
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is not just a human bobblehead doll. Currently, he’s leading Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz in the hotly contested GOP punchable face list, so it’s only right that on Wednesday, the Republican senator came out of his turtle-faced mouth to suggest that those states that have been hit the hardest…
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I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream…at Senator Mark Warner's Mayo Abomination of a Sandwich
If we can find just one moment of national unity this week, let it be the collective scream we all let out as Virginia Senator Mark Warner dumped a Mitch McConnell-sized helping of mayonnaise on what we’ve been told is a tuna melt. “Senator’s mayo-heavy tuna melt met with jeers” crowed CNN. “Virginia Sen. Mark…
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Trump Lies, Science Doesn't. So Scientists Aren’t Faring Well With This Administration
I’m currently dating Tracee Ellis Ross. That is a lie. Anyone who knows me knows that she and I broke up a while ago. Whatever. I didn’t like seafood and she wouldn’t hear of it. My dating Tracee Ellis Ross is a lie, but in Trump’s world, there are a few unsophisticated ways that I…
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Twitter Fingers: President Troll Face Just Tweeted That He Wants Iranian Gunboats ‘Shot Down’ for Trolling
President 6ix9ine is about to get us into a shitload of shit during a global pandemic when no one can safely leave the goddamn house without a full-on gas mask. On Wednesday, for some reason—and that reason is probably that the “wartime president” is losing the silent war against the coronavirus—the president instructed the U.S.…
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Black Georgia Democrat Who Endorsed Trump Has Blexited the Building: ‘Turn the Lights Off, I Have Left the Plantation’
Georgia Rep. Vernon Jones, the Kanye West of Candace Owenses, has resigned by announcing that he won’t be seeking reelection just a week after endorsing President Donald Trump. “Turn the lights off, I have left the plantation,” Jones said in a statement, AJC reports. “Someone else can occupy that suite. Therefore, I intend not to…
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Trump Says He Will Suspend Immigration Into the United States. Now If He Could Only Get Someone to Write the Executive Order
Trump is a victim of poor performance. According to several Russian prostitutes whom I didn’t speak with but will speak for, the president tends to jump the gun. On Tuesday, Trump’s minions—also known as his administration—were hurrying to get together an executive order after Trump late-night tweeted to Vladimir Putin “Hey, big head. You up?”…
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When Did White House Correspondent Yamiche Alcindor Become a Necklace? Because She Stays on Trump’s Neck
If you were to ask PBS NewsHour White House correspondent Yamiche Alcindor to send you her location, you would get a ping that shows the White House and a response that says, “She’s on the president’s neck.” On Monday, during a Trump rally disguised as a coronavirus press briefing, the president tried to run one…