Politics
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Did Joe Biden Accidentally Show His VP Pick to the World Before She Was Camera-Ready?
Presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden—God, I wish he would just call the number on his credit card and activate his presidency so we can stop calling him presumptive—was seen with what appears to be his vice presidential cheat sheet and it’s looking a lot like Kamala Harris. Well, Biden was caught holding Joseph R. Biden,…
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Can You Get Coronavirus in Your Butt? Well, Rep. Louie Gohmert, a Texas-Sized Asshole, Just Got It
Rep. Louie Gohmert, who can only be described as a Texas-sized asshole who has famously refused to wear a mask, has tested positive for the coronavirus. According to Politico, Gohmert was supposed to fly to Texas on Wednesday with his homie President Quakenhaus von Shitbag, but during a prescreen at the White House, life came…
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Donald Trump Jr. Was Put in Twitter Jail for Posting False Information About COVID-19
Donald Trump Jr. is an idiot. That’s not a diss, that’s just a fact. If Donald Trump Jr. was taking an IQ test against a tractor-trailer tire and the fate of the world lay in the results, smart money would be to bet on the tire. On Tuesday, Trump Jr., aka Not Ivanka, was put…
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Not All Heroes Wear Capes: Record Number of Black Women Running for Congress
When it comes to saving America, there is only one group that is even remotely qualified to field the call: Black women. Not only are they the backbone of the Democratic party, but they are a voting bloc that cannot be easily swayed or influenced by bullshit. Black women are literally America’s moral compass and…
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National Security Adviser Robert O’Brien Tests Positive for COVID-19
Despite all the warnings and the cautionary tales, President Trump’s national security adviser Robert O’Brien still managed to leave the NBA bubble to get wings from world-renowned Atlanta strip club, Magic City. Managing Editor Genetta Adams: Stephen, you are mixing two stories together. NBA player Lou Williams left the NBA bubble to go to the…
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Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton Is Not a Racist. He Just Plays One in Real Life
Here at The Root, we are very particular about how we label people. We know that labels can be damaging and unshakeable so we are careful not to brand a person a thing unless we are sure that they are in fact said thing. So, it’s with that in mind that I say Republican Arkansas…
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White House Lies About Paw Patrol Being Cancelled While Criticizing So-Called 'Cancel Culture' for Cops
As part of its ongoing campaign to flood American cities with federal police all too willing to do the President’s violent bidding, not to mention drag the country’s institutions of government further into absurdity, the Trump Administration is now decrying the loss of the children’s show Paw Patrol as an example of ‘cancel culture’ against…
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Trump on Portland Mayor Getting Tear-Gassed: They Rocked That Bama!
On Thursday, Trump took a break from punching South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham in the stomach to call into his favorite OnlyFans exotic dancer Sean Hannity’s Fox News show to clown the Portland, Ore., Mayor Ted Wheeler. Wheeler wanted to join the Black Lives Matter protesters in the Oregon city, but the protesters really don’t…