Politics
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Rand Paul Thinks Joe Biden Called Republicans Racists and Liars. He Didn’t, But If He Did, Where’s the Lie?
I’m going to begin with a confession: I didn’t watch much of President Joe Biden’s inauguration. Not because I wasn’t excited that not-Trump was officially being sworn into office, it’s just…Look, I was playing video games, OK? Whatever, I follow the news all day for a living. (I did watch one part of the inauguration…
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Biden to Sign 10 Executive Orders Just to Fight the Coronavirus Pandemic
There is power in the president’s pen, and America’s newest President Joe Biden is expected to sign the fuck out of some executive orders Thursday in an attempt to ramp up “COVID-19 testing and vaccinations, tightening enforcement of workplace safety rules and funneling more federal dollars to states struggling through the pandemic and economic crisis.”…
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What Do Trump’s COVID-19 Vaccine Distribution Plan and Bigfoot Have in Common? They Both Don’t Exist
In what appears to be chapter 7 of the ways in which Trump screwed over America, new President Joe Biden learned that he won’t be inheriting a coronavirus vaccine distribution plan from the former administration because there isn’t one. That’s right, the president of people who refused to wear masks and thusly continued to aid…
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Biden Is Already Draining the Swamp, Fires 3 of Trump’s Worst Appointees
One of former President Shitbag Von Nunu’s best traits was that he was notoriously bad at the mundane shit. Instead of hiring people who were qualified in their respective fields, Von Nunu placed an emphasis on loyalty over everything. In turn, he put people who didn’t know what the fuck they were doing into powerful…
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VP Kamala Harris Swears in 3 Democratic Senators, Flipping Control of Senate and Effectively Running Things
Vice President Kamala Harris’ third order of business—her first was stuntin’ on these hoes, and the second was making sure that a broke bitch had nothing to say—was making sure that she installed the last Infinity Stone to secure Democratic power. Shortly after being sworn-in herself, Harris swore in three new Democratic senators Wednesday afternoon,…
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Amanda Gorman Stuns With Powerful Inaugural Poem, ‘The Hill We Climb’
Much of Wednesday’s inauguration ceremony for President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris felt like a balm to a wounded nation’s soul, especially 22-year-old Amanda Gorman’s beautiful recitation of the inauguration poem, “The Hill We Climb.” Gorman, who was named the country’s first National Youth Poet Laureate in 2017 and is the youngest person…
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Republican Chairwoman of Election Board in Gwinnett County, Ga., Calls for Election Laws to Be Changed So Her Party Can Win
Republicans are still peeved at the powerful showing of historically marginalized voters—Black people, specifically—who gave Democrats the win in the White House and the Senate. This was evidenced recently by the violent Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, aka a tantrum thrown by white people mad that they don’t have a monopoly on choosing…
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The Return to Boredom America Deserves
The past four years of Trump’s presidency have been like living with a drug addict who is deep in their addiction. Anyone who has endured this unfortunate cohabitation knows that each day brings with it a certain unsteadiness that creates its own kind of frantic normalcy. It’s toxic and exhausting and if you stay in…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: And Just Like That, the Devil Is Gone
If you have a moment to take, take it. We survived. We survived the racism, the xenophobia, the disrespect, the insensitivity, the negative rhetoric, the divisiveness, the homophobia. We survived beyond the wall, the migrant children in cages, the good people on both sides, the chaos, the blatant cheating on America with Russia, the mayonnaise-slathered…