Politics
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Can a Sexless Robot Run for President? Some Think Mike Pence Is Making a Push for 2024
Remember back a million years ago when America was under the rule of the most racist president and his sexless robot former Vice President Mike Pence? Well, it looks like someone’s done some tinkering with his mainframe because the once homeless, couch-surfing VP might be looking to make a run at the White House in…
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Biden Names Diverse Group of Judicial Nominees for Federal Courts, Including 3 Black Women
Look, former President Trump tried everything he could to make federal courts about as white as a NASCAR event, but leave it to Champagne Biden to undo the former president’s bullshit. On Tuesday, Biden announced a diverse group of judicial nominees, including three Black women, in an effort to reshape the federal bench to “reflect…
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Trump Interrupts Mar-a-Lago Wedding to Ramble About Losing the Election
Imagine it’s your big day and the unemployed, former White House squatter grabs the microphone and starts rambling about some stuff that no one cares about, well maybe those at Mar-a-Lago give a shit because they are having a wedding in that shithole. “I’ve been watching the news and they’re telling me about the border,…
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Unemployed Former President Keeps Hating on Champagne Biden From Outside the Club
It must be hard looking at your former life and wondering what could’ve been while standing in line to get into the spot you used to run through—only to see the limo pull up and Champagne Biden wave his way into the club. Such is life for the unemployed former President Donald Trump, who can’t…
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A Black Woman Knocked on the Door Where a Southern White Man Was Suppressing the Black Vote. It Ended With Her Arrest
Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp is a comic book villain of voter suppression. No, on second thought, that’s actually offensive to comic book villains, as they usually have nuance and finesse. Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp is a throwback to an old South that is blatantly racist and doesn’t give AF who knows it. Kemp straight stole…
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N.Y. Gov. Andrew Cuomo Involved in Another Scandal and Still Won’t Step Down
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is a statue of unfazed whiteness. As it stands, Cuomo is facing several claims of sexual harassment; a federal investigation into his administration’s misrepresentation of COVID-19 deaths in nursing homes; a bridge named after his father is believed to be trash; and now, it’s looking like Cuomo used all his…
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Surprise, Surprise: Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Homeboy Was Involved in the Capitol Insurrection
In news that should be shocking to no one who’s been paying attention, it turns out that weird racists kick it both on Facebook and in real life.