Opinion
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The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Birds, Boxes and Other Bullshit No One Believes
So, ummm … about this Birdbox thing. Wait. We’ll get to that. But before that, y’all know what this is. Our clapback congregation meets weekly to discuss these matters. Each Friday, we faithfully go through the emails, comments, tweets and messages to explain, apologize or elaborate on the things that caused consternation among The Root’s…
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Dispatches From The Kwanzaa Kid: Stories About the Turkey Bacon of Holidays
I like turkey bacon. I realize that turkey bacon is essentially a ribbon of bologna meat, but as someone who grew up in a super-religious household and was raised by an uber-religious mother, I never had bacon (or any of the popular pork-related meats) until I was an adult. Don’t get me wrong, I knew…
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Here's 10 Black-Ass Predictions to Consider Since No One Really Knows What the Hell is Going to Happen in 2019
When it comes to predicting the future, I tend to listen to the wisdom of the black women in my family. Grandmamas, mothers, aunts, play aunts, doesn’t matter, their dreams are damn near unassailable when it comes to predicting your impending future death. (“Baby, I saw you on a train headed straight towards a mountain.…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: A Visit From St. Clapback
Twas the Friday before Christmas, when all through the siteNot a creature was angry, except for the whitesThe mailbag was filled with Caucasians seeing redAbout words we had written and stuff that we said When in my inbox there arose such a clatterI logged in to my email to see what was the matterIt turns…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: The Gray Area
For too long, The Root has ignored an important segment of our readership. In our eagerness to answer the emails, tweets and messages, we have failed to address our biggest fans: The grays. If you are new to The Root or Kinja in general, you should know that comments are approved by other readers or…
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In Last-Minute Bid for Most Basura Becky of 2018, White Woman Hurls Racial Slurs and Assaults Asian Woman on Train
With just a handful of days left in 2018, one woman wanted to stake her claim as the terriblest white woman to ever terrible on a New York City subway. It’s stiff competition on any given day, but in a year that has been partially defined by white people going full wypipo in public spaces,…
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A Couple Photographed Themselves Having Sex at the Great Pyramid and I Have Questions
A couple who took selfies while engaged in what appears to be a sexual act atop one of the Eight Wonders of the World (my aunt Phyllis’ fried chicken was recently approved by the World Wonder sanctioning body) has sparked international outrage and prompted a necessary question: Why, though? According to the Guardian, Danish photographer…
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I Told Y’all: Donald Trump Can’t Read
The opinions expressed in this article are the sole opinions of Michael Harriot. This is in no way meant to demean the puss-filled presidential wart fucking up America’s face. Anyone thinking of attributing these thoughts to someone else should note that this is typed in italics which, I’m pretty sure, makes it legally binding. In…