We love Michael B. Jordan. Heโs a dreamy man with a face you wanna squeeze, but also lick. But his dating habits have left a lot to be desired by black women. Michael B. usually canoodles with the likes of Becky and Karen. And many black women are upset, mostly because they think they deserve Michael B. Jordan. We do.
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Listen, I couldnโt care less who a man dates unless that man is Idris Elba or Michael B. Jordan. Most recently, Bae Jordan has been reportedly dating Instagram model (?)/someone I had to Google, Ashlyn Castro. The gorgeous gal has been getting a lot of shade because of her shade of melanin.
Then there are images of Jordan floating around on a jet ski with another Becky and of course, women went in on the comments.
Bae Jordan jumped on Instagram live while on vacation to tell us weโre all wildinโ. โYouโre teeing off on your boy, alright?โ Bae laughed.
โNewsflash, thereโs not a lot of black women in Italy. Yโall are bugginโ. I ran through the comments, yโall tearing your boy up! Itโs not, itโs just not. Sorry.โ
Wait, so black women arenโt in Italy? I know Iโve been before. I know several black women who have been and some who even live there. But I digress. Bae is just trying to say heโs in Italy, surrounded by women without melanin because thatโs what Italy has. OK, I can move past that.
He keeps going, โIโm reading through the comments and shit, yโall tearinโ ya boy up. Itโs too much, man. Yโall doinโ too much.โ
If weโre doing too much, then Bae Jordan is doing the most! He tried to clean up his love of women of color by comparing us to milk, like the dairy from a cow.
โI like milk. I like chocolate milk โ I love chocolate milk. And I like almond milk, strawberry milk. You know the cinnamon toast crunch? The milk after that, I like that, too. Thatโs pretty good. I like milk period. Yโall just doinโ a lot. Yโall gotta chill,โ he said.
Well, that got weird. Bae Jordanโs milk analogy reminds me of this cringe-worthy moment when Illinois governor Bruce Rauner used chocolate milk to explain diversity and inclusion.
Mmm mmm good! At least Michael B. Jordan likes the taste of diversity!
Jordan continues in the IG live video, saying, โYโall gotta start putting more positivity out there. As a black man, you gotta do what you gotta do in the sense of you gotta enrich your community and what not. But you gotta stop putting out all this negative shit โฆ why tear us down? For what?โ he asked.
I donโt think anyone is actually tearing him down. Itโs just hard sometimes as a black woman to see an extremely desirable black man actively not choose us. But you know what, weโre all works in progress. Let us work through losing Michael B. Jordan to the Beckys of the world in whatever way we can work through it.
Iโm probably going to stop drinking milk. Well, I have already, but I might even put a pause on almond milk. Let me know if you want to join my silent protest.
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