According to police, a Syracuse man robbed a local Chase bank wearing a curly wig, which is, incidentally, ruining my day for having to look at.
Police said a man wearing all black and a multi-colored wig demanded money from the Chase Bank at 801 James St. just after 2 p.m.
The teller told investigators the man passed her a note saying he’d hurt people if she didn’t cooperate. She also said he pulled out a silver handgun.
The man got away with an undisclosed amount of cash and was last seen walking on E. Willow St.
Man, look. I have no idea what this man was going through that led him to rob a whole bank. It’s hard out here. But, ah, sir. I have a question.
You really stole your auntie’s good cabaret wig to go and rob a bank?! Her cream-pantsuit-at-the-all-white-party wig? Her multipurpose “I fell asleep drunk but I can still tease it and wear it to church” wig, my guy? And put this unit on LOPSIDED? Just all askew? Crime, but make it fashionable?
Out here committing felonies in early aughts Remy Ma wig tones. My God. Anyway, they’re looking for him now, but the crazy-ass way he had his wig on makes it look impossibly itchy, so he probably got rid of it.
I don’t know, y’all. I just want the foolishness to stop.
But then again, far worse atrocities have been committed in wigs.