Why Bougie Jack and Jill Might Just Be the Thing Black Folks Need These Days

A discussion has broken out online that uncovers something that is an open secret in our community: Black people are not comfortable admitting when we have privilege. We will dig into this discussion. But first an aside.  

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Morris Chestnut Tells Us What Song Always Gets Him to the Dance Floor and What You Better Not Bring to a Party at His House

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Morris Chestnut Tells Us What Song Always Gets Him to the Dance Floor and What You Better Not Bring to a Party at His House

This discussion is coming out of Jack and Jill TikTok which, admittedly, I did not know was a thing. In the interest of full transparency, I should say that my kids are active in our local chapter of Jack and Jill of America, Inc.

This is an organization that was founded in 1938 by well-educated and affluent Black mothers who wanted to help their children “fit into white America.” They understood that some white people would not embrace Black kids, no matter how educated.

So, they wanted to create an organization that would teach their children to embrace their Blackness while pushing them to be leaders who gave back to their communities. I have my kids in it for that very reason.

Many Black kids who live in the suburbs attend mostly white schools and they are hardly connected to the Black community, if at all. I wanted my kids to connect with other Black kids who come from similar backgrounds…and this gets us the heart of the discussion.

Lawrence Otis Graham’s book Our Kind of People discusses something that most Black people did not know existed: the lifestyle of upper middle to upper class Black people. He talks about how many in this socioeconomic class join Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLOs), vacation on Martha’s Vineyard and attend the best schools in the nation.  He also discussed Jack and Jill of America as an organization for the children of these well-to-do Black people.

But here’s the thing: to join a BGLO, you must have attended college. And to vacation at Martha’s Vineyard, you must be of a certain socioeconomic status.

What has blown up on social media is Black people wrestling their privilege. Many kids who grew up in Jack and Jill are saying they did not know that they had it. That understandable if these kid’s parents were not intentional about showing them how blessed they were, but were they fortunate to live how they did? Absolutely.  

If you are expected to attend college (not just hope to), then you are in rare air in the Black community. If your parents have good paying jobs (military, education, anything) then you have privilege. But this is not something about which one should be ashamed.

Let’s look globally: Having access to a decent education, drinkable water and upward mobility is something that many in the world do not have. So, there are many things we take for granted that are, in fact, privileges. Black people in America are not ashamed of that, so why should members of BGLOs, Jack and Jill of America or Black folks who vacation in Dukes County, Mass. be ashamed of what they have access to?

The only thing this Black people need to be ashamed of is if they do not give back. If you ignore others in your community who are not as fortunate as you, then you should be ashamed. But do not feel shame over the fact that your parents provided for you a good life. That is for what our ancestors fought and died. And there is no shame in that.