Black Mom Telling Parents to Not Go Broke Trying to Make Their Kids Happy Sparks TikTok Debate

Spend any time on social media and you’ll likely come across parents who live to post pictures of elaborate parties and exotic vacations with their children. Some of them may be your closest friends and relatives, and if you thought about it long enough, you might be able to recall a few times that you went a little over the top for your kids.

Although most parents want to give their children things they never had, one social media mom is here to tell us that if you’re trying to pour into your kids from an empty cup…you’re doing it all wrong.

In a now-viral post, TikToker @abuggzlife warns parents against doing things that will put their finances in jeopardy just because they think it will make their kids happy. She says living beyond your means is not in a parent’s job description, adding that providing essentials like adequate food, clothing and shelter is where your obligation ends.

“Don’t put yourself in financial, mental or emotional ruins trying to give your kids everything, ‘cause you can’t,” she said. “Or you’ll die trying.”  

@abuggzlife

Kids grow up to adults that will resent you. You’ll never be enough as a but you can be to yourself #levelup for yourself and do what you can within your own mental and financial bracket #motherhood #advice #blackwomen #fypシ

♬ original sound – Shantell N°5| Fragrance & Chat

“You do not owe it to your kids to give them every single experience,” she said. “Make sure the best that you can with what you have.”

The post received more than 22,000 likes and hundreds of comments from parents who agreed that love and support is worth far more than a fresh new pair of sneakers that might throw your budget out of whack.

“I would’ve appreciated stability over good vacations and gifts,” wrote someone.

Another commenter agreed, arguing that giving your kids more things doesn’t make you a better parent.

“Every time I’m about to do too much I remember – she’s not even asking for it. That stuff doesn’t make you a better parent at all,” they wrote.

One commenter added that keeping your finances in good shape not only helps you, it helps your children by preventing them from inheriting your debt.

“This is so important! It’s also a favor to them to set yourself up financially! Frees them up from the burden of taking care of us in our older years,” they wrote.

Going back to the original post, @abuggzlife says that when planning vacations, parents should do what they can afford. Kids aren’t always expecting spa days and beach sunsets at night. All they really want, she says, is a place with a pool and a breakfast buffet!