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Pete Buttigieg Called Me. Here's What Happened
The first thing you should know about me is that I absolutely hate talking on the phone. My friends, family and co-workers all know this about me. It’s not the talking that bothers me, it’s the anticipation angst from waiting for a phone call. Therapy and self-reflection have informed me that my subconscious anxiety is…
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Pete Buttigieg Is a Lying MF
Seven thousand three hundred twenty-two dollars. I hid it in a white Piggly Wiggly bag in the back of the dishwasher. Every single time I returned to that tiny apartment, I opened up that Navajo-white Kenmore dishwasher and made sure it was there. It was not a gift. It was not a reward. It wasn’t…
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The 2019 Rules and Revisions for Black Thanksgiving
For black families, Thanksgiving is an entirely different holiday than the traditional feast enjoyed by the dominant culture. When the Pilgrims celebrated the first Thanksgiving in 1621, most black families in America weren’t invited to the festivities. In fact, legend has it that a particularly unruly enslaved African whispered to a Native Americans as they…
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Passenger Asks Flight Attendant to Move Him Because He Reportedly Didn’t Want to Sit Next to Black Girl
A negrophobic airline passenger was so concerned that blackness was a communicable disease that he reportedly asked a flight attendant to accommodate his Caucasian autoimmune disorder by moving him to another seat. Sixteen-year-old Taylor Richardson was aboard a United Airlines flight from Denver to Jacksonville, Fla. when a gentleman of the enslaver persuasion objected to…
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Everyone Knows Why Inmates Are Dying in Alabama Prisons. No One Knows How to Fix It
Alabama runs the most violent prison system in America. Inmates in Alabama’s prisons are killed at nearly nine times the national rate. Families have been devastated. The state doesn’t seem to have answers. A study by a criminal justice and civil rights organization concluded that money won’t fix it. Even Donald Trump’s Justice Department called…
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Are We Pretending Donald Trump Wasn’t Secretly Rushed to the Hospital?
Pick one: Donald Trump was rushed to the hospital to visit a sick child because he is such a caring person… Or Donald Trump is the only president in history to break their physical examinations into two parts… Or Donald Trump and the White House staff is lying. Only one of those makes sense. Trump…
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Bill Russell Ends 44-Year Basketball HoF Boycott—but the Backstory Proves He's the G.O.A.T.
Ask anyone who is the greatest basketball player of all time, and you’ll surely get a diversity of opinions—including Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Magic Johnson and that dude who played for your cousin’s high school in 1987 whose jump shot was wet but he got shot in his layup leg running from the police his…
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Trump Woke Up Early to Send a Racist Tweet About DACA
“Many white people, while clinging to power and privilege, are racist as fuck. Donald Trump has displayed this at every juncture. If Congress remedies this by kicking the president out of office, maybe Republicans will act with common sense.” —M. Harriot While that statement might be a grammatical clusterfuck of baseless opinion, it is also…
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Is Donald Trump Planning to Invade Mexico?
After punking out on the Kurds like Joffrey in the Battle of Blackwater, Commander in Chief and yellow-bellied bone spur sufferer Donald Trump has offered the services of the U.S. Armed forces to help Mexico defend its dwindling supply of white people. On Monday, nine members of a prominent American-Mexican family, including three women and…
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A Nazi Flag Was Hanging in a California Corrections Office, Which Totally Makes Sense
California officials said parole officers were using a banner symbolizing hate, racism and white supremacy for “training purposes,” after a keen-eyed citizen noticed a large Nazi flag hanging in an office at the California Department of Corrections. Seems legit. You gotta train employees because most people don’t quite know what a swastika looks like until…
