-
Are We Pretending Donald Trump Wasn’t Secretly Rushed to the Hospital?
Pick one: Donald Trump was rushed to the hospital to visit a sick child because he is such a caring person… Or Donald Trump is the only president in history to break their physical examinations into two parts… Or Donald Trump and the White House staff is lying. Only one of those makes sense. Trump…
-
Here’s the Waiver Colin Kaepernick Was Asked to Sign to Get Back on the NFL’s Plantation
Shortly before the NFL held a sham one-man slave auction combine for Colin Kaepernick, the league presented the embattled activist and quarterback with a waiver that essentially torched the prospect of Kaepernick participating in the public relations hoax reportedly concocted by Jay-Z, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and NFL owners. To be clear, this was a…
-
The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Why?
Y’all know me. Each Friday, I use my black privilege to attack poor hapless white souls who were only trying to live their lives and, maybe, occasionally, blurt out a “nigger” or two. And you’re part of it, too. The only reason we sift through tweets, emails, comments and direct messages is that we feel…
-
Bill Russell Ends 44-Year Basketball HoF Boycott—but the Backstory Proves He's the G.O.A.T.
Ask anyone who is the greatest basketball player of all time, and you’ll surely get a diversity of opinions—including Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Magic Johnson and that dude who played for your cousin’s high school in 1987 whose jump shot was wet but he got shot in his layup leg running from the police his…
-
Roger Stone Found Guilty of Lying to Congress, Witness Tampering; Not Guilty of Top Hat-Related Crimes
A jury has convicted the 67-year-old-frat boy who literally wears a motherfucking top hat of lying his ass off and obstructing the congressional investigation into Russian interference into the 2016 election. It took a federal jury less than two days to find Roger Stone guilty of witness tampering, obstructing Congress and five counts of lying…
-
10 Men Who Are Sexier Than John Legend, Who People Magazine Named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’
I’m writing this from heaven. If you haven’t heard, there was an apocalypse last night that killed every man on earth except Donald Trump, Jimmie “J.J.” Walker and Steve Buscemi. While I died peacefully, I became aware of my death when I read on the internet that People magazine named John Legend their 2019 Sexiest…
-
The Black Person’s Guide to the Trump Impeachment Hearings
The House of Representatives began impeachment hearings for President Donald J. Trump on Wednesday. While everyone seems to have a different idea of what this actually means, we decided to prepare this handy dandy guide that breaks the process down into digestible language without relying on bullshit phraseology about “American values” and the “integrity of…
-
Report: NFL Schedules Workout for Colin Kaepernick
After nearly three years of being whiteballed by the NFL, quarterback, activist and majestic 3C-Afro rocker Colin Kaepernick will reportedly audition for a roster spot at a workout arranged by the National Football League. Organized by former coaches and NFL combine personnel, the NFL has invited representatives from all 32 league teams to a one-man…
-
University Lawyer Resigns After Blurting Out the N-Word… During a Lecture About Fighting On-Campus Hate
An attorney for a Texas institution of higher learning tendered her resignation after she was criticized for using the top-ranked* racial epithet during a lecture to students. While the Bill of Rights, the Founding Fathers, social studies teachers and 99.9999 percent of law professors somehow manage to avoid the slur, this particular lawyer insisted that…
-
Trump Woke Up Early to Send a Racist Tweet About DACA
“Many white people, while clinging to power and privilege, are racist as fuck. Donald Trump has displayed this at every juncture. If Congress remedies this by kicking the president out of office, maybe Republicans will act with common sense.” —M. Harriot While that statement might be a grammatical clusterfuck of baseless opinion, it is also…
