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Everything You Wanted to Know About the Beyoncé Babies but Were Afraid to Ask
The entire world got a case of the vapors yesterday when word spread that Beyoncé is pregnant with twins. However, there are still some people who are clueless about this situation. If we are to come together as a nation—as the Declaration of Independence states—there are some truths we must find to be self-evident. And…
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For Wypipo Who Have Considered Interrupting When Listening Is Enuf
There are invaluable life lessons passed down through generations of black people like invisible family heirlooms. Some are instilled by parents, experience or society, but the most critical ones are learned through a mysterious black osmosis. The first time I heard “soul clapping,” I knew exactly what it meant and how to do it. When…
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The Last Black History Month
After Donald Trump issued a statement that refused to acknowledge the 6 million Jews slaughtered by Nazi Germany during the 1940s on International Holocaust Remembrance Day Friday, black America should prepare ourselves for what may be the last Black History Month. I’m sure many of you doubt that the Cheddar Comb-Over could erase a tradition…
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Why the Muslim Ban Matters to Black People
First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew.…
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How Obama Ruined Race Relations
One of my favorite true-life parables is the story of Hungarian Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis. In the mid-1800s, Semmelweis worked in a maternity clinic where a large number of women died during childbirth. He believed that the problem was neither the medicine nor their treatments. Semmelweis believed that there were tiny little creatures living on the…
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An Obituary for America
On Jan. 20, 2017, on a patch of grass in the Washington, D.C., park where we placed a monument to George Washington, near a memorial to “the Great Emancipator,” almost exactly where Martin Luther King Jr. explained his dream to a hopeful country over 50 years ago, 318 million people stumbled across the bloated, rotting…
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John Lewis vs. Everybody: A Tale of the Tape
Ever since John Lewis told Chuck Todd that he doesn’t consider Donald Trump a “legitimate president,” acolytes of the traffic-cone-colored, tiny-fingered dingleberry have streamed out of the woodwork to come for the civil rights hero and political icon. As soon as the president-elect heard the remarks, the troll-in-chief tweeted this: Congressman John Lewis should spend…
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Top 10 People Summoned to Trump Towers to Fix Black America
Since the election of Donald J. Trump, we have witnessed an eclectic mix of black people streaming from Trump Tower, called upon by the dollop-shaped dictator to help him solve the problems of black America. Most of us have cast a skeptical eye at his selections because they seemingly have no training, expertise or qualifications…
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A Tribute to Our Great Uncle Joe
All this week, social media timelines, television viewing and news outlets will be flooded with praise, retrospectives and syrupy-sweet tributes to Barack Obama, lamenting the end of his tenure as president of the United States. I can already tell you that there will be a “speck of dust” caught in my eye all day on…
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What to Say When ‘Wypipo’ Bring Up MLK
Whenever a black person diverges from the path of respectability and voices an opinion contrary to the mainstream narrative, the keepers of the status quo will quickly shout them down with the same, recognizable refrain. Sometimes it sounds so familiar, one might think the people who sit atop America’s totem pole must have trained one…
