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Trump’s Presidential Address: The Wypipo Speech
Apparently, black people are racist. I didn’t know I was a racist until recently, but luckily, the great people of white America took their long history of racial awareness and benevolence toward people of color to show us the light. Lately, the jujitsu of reverse racism has manifested itself in the ugliest, most virulent form…
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The Donald Trump Presidential-Speech Drinking Game
If you’re anything like me, when Donald Trump addresses a joint session of Congress tonight, it will be very difficult to watch (especially if, like me, you initially thought “joint session of Congress” referred to a little-known constitutional amendment that required representatives to pass a blunt around the House chamber). Luckily for you, we here…
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The Latest Leslie Jones White-Tears Controversy
Leslie Jones is the latest target in the new epidemic of wypipo pearl-clutching and getting outraged at comedians for telling jokes. During her latest stand-up performance at Carolines on Broadway, Jones, the New York Times reports, told the story of when online troll and pedophile advocate Milo Yiannopoulos attacked her and inspired his “alt-right” minions…
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Everybody Hates Trump (Except White People)
This morning—and every morning since Jan. 20—if you turned on your TV, you were likely to hear pundits and experts talk about how Americans are fighting against, upset with and resisting the presidency of Donald Trump. (It has been a month and I still dry-heave when I say it.) The consensus from every media source—including…
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Remember Trayvon?
Remember Trayvon? He would’ve been 22 by now. He more than likely would have graduated from high school and entered college by this date. If he studied hard, maybe he would have entered an Ivy League school, graduated from Harvard and entered the spaceflight-training program during his downtime between law school classes. I’m sure there…
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TrumpPets Are the White Hoteps
You’ve seen them before. Maybe you dated one because you liked the way he called you “king” or “queen,” before he chastised you for wearing your skirt too short, putting lye in your hair or—and, no, I’m not kidding about this—getting so far away from your African roots that your body does unnatural, Eurocentric things…
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Google Just Dropped $11,000,000 to Make Sure #BlackLivesMatter
Of course, the company didn’t phrase it that way because it would have to spend another $11 million cleaning up all the mess from the white people’s heads that exploded. But according to USA Today, Google just pledged $11.5 million in grants and funding to help organizations fight racial bias. Specifically, Google’s philanthropic division wants…
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Welcome to the America Black People Have Always Lived In
Good morning! It is so great to see all of you gathered here on this lovely day! From the looks on your faces, many of you seem disturbed to find yourself in this meeting, but trust me, you should be thankful. I thought that by the first month into Donald Trump’s presidency, we’d be 0n…
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Maybe the Earth Is Flat
This past weekend during the National Basketball Association’s All-Star festivities, Cleveland Cavaliers basketball star Kyrie Irving appeared on the NBA podcast Road Tripping With RJ & Channing and said, “The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. … It’s right in front of our faces. I’m telling you, it’s right in front of our faces.…
