-
How Obama Ruined Race Relations
One of my favorite true-life parables is the story of Hungarian Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis. In the mid-1800s, Semmelweis worked in a maternity clinic where a large number of women died during childbirth. He believed that the problem was neither the medicine nor their treatments. Semmelweis believed that there were tiny little creatures living on the…
-
An Obituary for America
On Jan. 20, 2017, on a patch of grass in the Washington, D.C., park where we placed a monument to George Washington, near a memorial to “the Great Emancipator,” almost exactly where Martin Luther King Jr. explained his dream to a hopeful country over 50 years ago, 318 million people stumbled across the bloated, rotting…
-
Top 10 People Summoned to Trump Towers to Fix Black America
Since the election of Donald J. Trump, we have witnessed an eclectic mix of black people streaming from Trump Tower, called upon by the dollop-shaped dictator to help him solve the problems of black America. Most of us have cast a skeptical eye at his selections because they seemingly have no training, expertise or qualifications…
-
A Tribute to Our Great Uncle Joe
All this week, social media timelines, television viewing and news outlets will be flooded with praise, retrospectives and syrupy-sweet tributes to Barack Obama, lamenting the end of his tenure as president of the United States. I can already tell you that there will be a “speck of dust” caught in my eye all day on…
-
What to Say When ‘Wypipo’ Bring Up MLK
Whenever a black person diverges from the path of respectability and voices an opinion contrary to the mainstream narrative, the keepers of the status quo will quickly shout them down with the same, recognizable refrain. Sometimes it sounds so familiar, one might think the people who sit atop America’s totem pole must have trained one…
-
21 Ways We’re All Doomed Now
Since Nov. 8, because of our eternal optimism, we black people have kept our fingers crossed, whispered among ourselves that “maybe it won’t be so bad.” Now that our cheddar-covered, misogynist, dim-witted overlord is only days away from installing gold-plated toilets in the Oval Office, we have accepted that it will probably be that bad—if…
-
The 2016 List of People We Don’t Mess With Anymore
Last year we debuted the list of people to whom black America gave the collective side eye. As 2016 winds to a close, once again we document the people we’ve disinvited from the cookout. Since the apostles got together to talk to Judas in December of the year 1, black people have used this month…
-
6 Stages of Grief in the Last Days of Obama
As we count down the last few weeks of the Obama presidency, many of us feel anxiety, fear or wistfulness about the prospect of living life without Michelle and Barack in the White House. To help you get through this process, we present to you “The 6 Stages of Grief Over the Obamas Leaving the…
-
The 2016 Wypipo Awards
We’d like to welcome you to the annual Wypipo Awards. For those of you attending for the first time, these awards are not focused on all white people. Instead, this is a ceremony that celebrates the subset of the Caucasian constituency constantly complaining that the BET Awards, the NAACP Awards and even the Soul Train…
-
Introducing Trump's 2016 Alt-Right All-Star Hate Team
Following an intense election season in which even the preseason scrimmages were filled with intense excitement, the American political system finally crowned the most unlikely candidate as its 2016 electoral champion. As always, the winning side gets to choose its own all-star team, and after the new president-elect took his celebratory victory lap, Donald J.…