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28 Days of Black Joy: How to Celebrate Black History Month
We don’t do enough for Black History Month. I think it should be a high celebration. It’s Negro Ramadan. It’s the extended remix of Kwanzaa. It’s like August for white people (Wait, you didn’t know that August was white people’s favorite month? Look it up.) I believe Black History Month should be a month-long Sadie…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: White History Months
Today, as Black History Month dawns upon us, let us not forget to celebrate the mediocre white people who flood our inboxes with caucasoidal ruminations about how wrong we are. Today we honor the factless frat boys. The clueless Caucasians. The stupid Sarahs and airheaded Amys. White mediocrity is the fuel that powers this country…
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How to Be a Black Ally
White people are having a hard time right now. Ever since mee-maw and gramps tried to overthrow the government, everyone who owns a pair of wraparound shades has been targeted by law enforcement officials. The most prominent member of White Twitter has been kicked off the internet. Parler (also known as Caucasian Clubhouse) has been…
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After Killing Black Man and Destroying Evidence, Florida Man Claims 'Stand Your Ground,' Gets 1 Year in Jail
Gardner Kent Fraser killed Dominic “DJ” Broadus II but no one knows why. Fraser doesn’t deny it, nor does the state attorney for Florida’s Eighth Judicial Circuit. After shooting Broadus in the face, investigators say Fraser, who is white, waited 21 minutes to dial 911. Asked by emergency operators if he knew Broadus, Fraser said:…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Richard Petty
Facts are evil. Nothing is as malicious and divisive to white people as when Black people start talking about actual reality. Because of the bulletproof nature of white privilege, they aren’t necessarily hurt by factual information. However, some white people feel attacked when a Black person brings up actual data or historical information. If someone…
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The Caucasian's Guide to Post-MAGA America
Although the MAGA Games’ closing ceremony has been ridiculed for the fourth-shittiest fireworks display since Francis Scott Key penned his magnum opus (Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Pearl Harbor still finish with medals), when we realized that white people were going to have a lot of time on their hands for the foreseeable future, we knew we…
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America's Long Racist Nightmare Is Over
It is a new day in America. That we have chosen to forge a path into the bright, beautiful morning is a testament to this nation. Once again, in our darkest hour, we overcame our penchant for self-destruction and chose to embrace the light. But, in all the exultant triumph, let us not forget one…
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Man Who Filmed Ahmaud Arbery's Death Accuses Georgia of Systemic Racism…Against White People
In one of the most ambitious attempts in the history of the Caucasian activity known as “trying it,” the man incarcerated for his alleged participation in the mini-lynch mob that led to the death of Ahmaud Arbery has petitioned for his release, claiming that the current “racially charged” atmosphere makes it impossible for a white…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Whitenotes
The Clapback Mailbag will often search through the emails, tweets, DMs and comments to find a common theme from our perturbed readers. Sometimes they are upset about one thing. Occasionally, we will receive a spate of responses that all have the same “whataboutism.” But not this week. This week’s letters feature a mishmash of all…
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Is This a Mob? A Quiz for the Unintentional Domestic Terrorist
Some of America’s best and whitest activists were flabbergasted when they heard the news about the Caucasian Capitol Coup on Jan. 6. While those in attendance were not shocked by the attack on the seat of the American government, they were stunned by the media referring to their actions as “mob violence” and “domestic terrorism.”…
