• Bomb Kush Forces Man to Get Naked, Stab Mom Because He Thought She Might Rape Him: Report

    As marijuana becomes legal around the country, more-potent varieties are becoming available. You may think you have tried the good stuff, but have you tried the stab-your-mama-get-naked-and-think-you-can-fly strain they’re apparently selling in Wisconsin? According to Fox 2 News, in Racine, Wis., a woman wandered into a Dollar Tree bloody and injured (which happens almost every…

    By










  • The NYPD Wants Desiigner’s Penis Pics

    Somewhere in New York City, there is a police officer who has bravely set aside his dedication to stopping and frisking random black men to work on one of the greatest penis-related crimes of the century. This brave hero, dedicated to protecting and serving the citizens of the Big Apple, is charged with tracking down…

    By










  • White Supremacy Roundup: 4 Stories That Show How Institutional Racism Works

    When the Ku Klux Klan sets a cross on fire, the fact that a few snuff-chewing Caucasian troglodytes have come together to celebrate their low-IQ ideology is as inconsequential as the fact that they are contributing to global warming and deforestation. It has always been about the hoods. The idea that the cowardice of teachers,…

    By










  • Boyce Watkins Responds to Article by The Root’s ‘Negro Annihilator’

    On Tuesday, Boyce Watkins took time out of his busy schedule of going on Facebook Live to explain how busy he is, and logged into Facebook Live to respond to The Root’s article detailing the uproar over his Black Business School. For the sake of transparency, I must admit that I did not watch the…

    By










  • Trump Uses Death of NFL Player to Rant Against Immigrants, Ask for Border Wall

    If we’re being honest, you have to admire the way the juicy-booty hate-monger throwing back Diet Cokes in the Oval Office like Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania 192 always finds a way to twist any tragedy into a reason to validate his racism. According to Donald Trump, the opioid crisis, most crimes and even…

    By










  • Beyoncé’s Father Claims She’s Successful Because She’s Light-Skinned

    Even though I am a dark-skinned black man, I stay away from the argument about colorism in the black community. Not because it has no validity, but because it always misses a valuable point that we will get to later if my head doesn’t explode before I reach the end of this piece. Mathew Knowles,…

    By










  • When Wakanda Was Real

    The reason people love superheroes is that, when done correctly, they are the perfect combination of our wildest fantasies and reality. There is no white guy born on a distant planet who came to Kansas and discovered that he could fly. If you are ever bitten by a bat, you probably want to get a…

    By










  • Why Is Kellyanne Conway in Charge of the Opioid Crisis? Then Again, She Does Lie Like a Crackhead

    Continuing his tradition of placing unqualified, mediocre white people in jobs for which they have no expertise, President Donald Trump has moved Kellyanne Conway from her Cabinet-level position in the Department of Lying Motherfuckers and put her in charge of the opioid crisis. Needless to say, it is not going well. Politico reports that Trump’s…

    By










  • How Boyce Watkins Became the Negro Whisperer, Explained

    Sure! Earlier this week, a video of a screenshot of what seems to be an online conference call began circumnavigating the inboxes of the woke black internet. The video shows two men having a conversation about Boyce Watkins, Ph.D., and his … Watkins is the less charismatic Umar Johnson of black financial independence and wealth.…

    By










  • Justin Timberlake’s Prince Tribute Was Not a Hologram … It Was a Perfect Allegory of America

    Before not watching Sunday’s Super Bowl, I was engaged in a conversation with Kyla Jenée Lacey, a contributor to The Root, about appropriation. Specifically, we were talking about Indonesian rapper Rich Chigga’s music. I told her the story of two white women who went on a Christmas road trip and discovered the delicious tortillas served…

    By










Michael Harriot Avatar