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To the ‘Well-Traveled’ Black Man Seeking a ‘Sista’: There Are More Women Out There Than You Think
“Why are you single?” It’s the single’s girl most hated question. It’s usually asked as a sort of a backhanded compliment, a way to acknowledge that the person asking acknowledges her awesomeness and is stumped as to why she hasn’t paired off. But it often comes across as a sideways accusation that sounds like, “You…
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Leaving a Great Guy to Get Back With a Bad Ex Just Isn’t a Good Move
My boyfriend cheated and abandoned me and my kids. I didn’t even know he was leaving. I came home and his things were gone. I started dating a great guy, but after a year my ex has returned and wants to get married. The new guy has been there for that year, helping me with…
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In Defense of Tiny Harris’ New Eye Color
Was I the only one who had absolutely no idea that people could permanently change their eye color with surgery? Apparently I was stuck in the ’90s, thinking that colored contacts, which never look real, were the only option. Who knew? Apparently Tameka “Tiny” Harris—celeb mom, wife of rapper Clifford “T.I.” Harris and reality-TV star—did.…
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If He Wants to Put a Ring on It, Don’t Get Hung Up on What He Bought
My fiance told me to pick out an engagement ring. We found one that we both liked and was within the budget. He asked for specifications and pictures. I sent them to him. I asked if he was going to get it and he said I would get what I wanted. Now I think he…
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Whining About Dating When a Man Is Right Under Your Nose
A man I’m seeing for just a few weeks told me to “just pick me” when I was talking about the difficulty of dating for educated black women. I’m confused because the fact that I was talking to him means I want him to pick me. I’m not sure what else I need to do…
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Tattoo of Boyfriend’s Name Will Likely Be Around Longer Than He Will
“I got a tattoo of my man’s name. We were supposed to do this together. He said he would write mine. Instead, he does initials. I’m pissed and feel quite stupid because I think he tried to make it vague. My initials are A.S.K. I asked him why he didn’t write out my name. He…
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Zane Spills the Juicy Details About Her New Movie, Addicted
More than a decade ago, Zane, then an unknown suburban mother of three, changed the literary landscape when she self-published her first novel, Addicted. It was the deliciously freaky (and fictional) tale of a woman in similar circumstances, a mom of three, but this one had an insatiable appetite for sex—with three men other than…
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No, a Boyfriend Doesn’t Have to Pay Bills Like a Husband
My best friend, who lives with her boyfriend, got into a car accident. Via mass email, she asked all her friends for money to help with the expensive repair. I said to her privately that her boyfriend should be handling that, not us. She called me judgmental and unrealistic, then we fought about my high…
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The Hair ‘Down There’: How to Ask a Woman to ‘Trim the Hedges’
Is it polite for a man to ask a lady to trim herself “down there”? She really likes me to give her oral, but it’s difficult with so much growth. I’ve hinted about it, but she never seems to get it, and I’m considering the direct approach. Just don’t want to offend her, but I…
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He Wants to Go to a House Party on a 1st Date? Just Say No
I met a guy. We exchanged information and spoke [on the phone] a few times. For a “first date,” he’s asked me to go to a fight party at his boy’s house. I’m used to some effort or planning being put into a first date, and I feel weird meeting a bunch of strangers when…
Black News and Black Views with a Whole Lotta Attitude
