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Just Say No to Dating the Creepy ‘Friend’ Who Won’t Take No for an Answer About Sex
A guy I’ve known for years—he’s always seemed to show interest—called me out of the blue. We talked on the phone for three hours, during which time he had phone sex alone. I flat out said, “No, I’m not engaging.” That was the first red flag. We talked on the phone every day for three,…
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He Said I ‘Trapped’ Him With a Baby
A guy I’ve been seeing on and off for almost two years recently told me he had a dream that I got pregnant. When telling me this, he used the word “trapped.” Clearly, I was pissed. He doesn’t understand why using that particular word would imply that he thinks lowly or negatively of me. We’re…
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To the Light-Skinned Woman Who Can’t Be Friends With Darker Sisters, Skin Tone Isn’t the Problem
Years ago, a woman named Demetria sent me an email. The subject read something like, “The Other Demetria.” I did not know her, but I clicked, solely because she had my name and the narcissist in me figured she must be awesome. Turns out, she was writing to introduce herself because I had her name.…
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You Must Be Honest if You Don’t Want to Raise Your Boyfriend’s Kids
I have never wanted to have kids. My boyfriend is OK with this, since he had kids from a previous relationship. I welcome regular visits and stayovers, etc., from his two kids and am willing to assist financially, emotionally, academically, etc., throughout their lives, but never planned to be a full-time mom. He now wants full…
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Horrifying but Common: Spring Break and Sexual Assault
Like many, I’ve been following the news story about a 19-year-old woman who was publicly gang-raped during spring break in Panama City, Fla. Dozens of people watched or recorded the incident, which is how it came to the attention of authorities who were investigating an unrelated crime in another state. The woman, who was semiconscious…
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Hey Haters, if Erica Campbell’s ‘Trap’ Gospel Song Brings the Message to the Masses, What’s the Problem?
I grew up on gospel music, listening to songs of the genre that would be considered classics. My grandmother was the choir director of a church in Detroit, where I spent every summer. My mother took me to Washington, D.C.’s Vermont Avenue nearly every Sunday morning, and on the occasional seventh day I wasn’t sitting…
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Was I Wrong to Ask My Husband to Move His Late Wife’s Urn?
My husband’s first wife died. They had two kids. We live in his house. He keeps his wife’s urn in the living room. I requested that “she” be moved, and he and the kids are upset. Am I wrong? —Anonymous So when it comes to relationships, it’s not always about right or wrong. Sometimes it’s…
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Traveling in Kenya, Where Signs of Security Battle the Realities of Terrorism
I knew maybe three things about Kenya when my plane landed in Nairobi’s Jomo Kenyatta International Airport in late February: The traffic was awful in Nairobi; it was a “party city,” with the good times rolling as late—or, er, as early—as 9 a.m.; and in 2013, the city’s most upscale mall, Westgate, suffered a four-day…
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Being Too Scared to Reveal You Have an STD Is No Excuse for Ruining Someone Else’s Life
I started talking to this guy and he was great—everything I could ask for and more. There’s just one problem: I have a sexually transmitted disease, and I was completely embarrassed and scared to tell him, especially after the way I have been treated in the past. I kept it to myself and continued to…
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Your Bestie Slept With Your ‘Friend With Benefits’? Girl, Please
My best friend of seven years slept with my “friend with benefits.” Yes, I have no claim to the man, but I let them both know prior to this incident—after they made out in front of me while drunk—that it made me uncomfortable. They both agreed to respect how I felt. Fast-forward two weeks: We…
Black News and Black Views with a Whole Lotta Attitude
