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Yup, Women Can Be Just As Evil As Men (…And This Is A Good Thing!)
While channel-surfing the other day, I came across Gone Girl on HBO. It had been on for maybe an hour already, but I kept on watching. Mainly because I wanted to see if I would still be as disturbed by it as I was when I saw it in the theater. Verdict? Yes. It’s also…
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White People Who Tried Really, Really, Really Hard To Be Black, Ranked
From Rachel Dolezal to Colonel Sanders, American history is filled with examples of White Americans adopting and appropriating Black culture so aggressively that they started becoming kinda, sorta “Black” themselves. It’s kinda like how my mom used to tell me that if I ate too many bite-sized Snickers, I would turn into a bite-size Snicker. Basically,…
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Don Lemon: The Troll Who Will Save America
It’s unfortunate that President Obama’s use of “nigger” became the biggest story from his recent interview with Marc Maron, because the reflexively (and grandstandingly) heated debate about that word has obscured a great point. “Societies don’t, overnight, completely erase everything that happened 200 to 300 years prior.” It feels counterintuitive, insulting even, to suggest that…
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White Murderer Says Nigger? "It's Not About Race!" Black President Says Nigger? "Let's Talk About Race!"
To give you an idea of how bizarre America’s relationship with race is, consider the following: 1. The two most talked about stories in the country last week were about… A) A ridiculous White woman who seems to believe she’s Shirley Chisholm but is just the real-life Kirk Lazarus. B) A White man who went into a…
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Nowhere, No Safety, No Country For Black Americans
The privilege of being allowed to exist on Earth — and the experiences, the enlightenments, and the beauties associated with this privilege — comes with a couple unfavorable conditions. 1. We will die. 2. We will coexist with entities actively attempting to kill us. These are facts every human is conscious of. But this awareness…
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There Is Nothing Wrong With Making And Laughing At Jokes About Ridiculous Ass Rachel Dolezal
Rachel Dolezal’s appearance on The Today Show this morning — and her admission that she identifies as Black — confirms it: She is a turducken of bullshit. A turducken inside of a giraffe inside of a whale that was eaten by a fucking Indominus Rex. Not only is her actual aesthetic an intentional optical illusion, following…
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In Too Deep (No, Seriously. In Waaaaaaay Too Gotdamn Deep): The Rachel Dolezal Story
Thoughts about the post-racial Imitation of Life. 1. You know those news stories and segments that’ll pop up every couple months or so about a White mom who has no damn clue what to do with her biracial daughter’s hair? And the piece will always be accompanied by a pic of the clueless mom and…
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The 10 Worst Haircuts In Black Male History
Earlier this week, Baron Davis made an appearance on First Take and introduced us all to a new hairstyle. It’s been called a Jheri Curl, but I wouldn’t quite call it that. Mainly because it’s not wet enough. It looks more like a batch of collard greens an aint-shit cousin left on the stove too long…
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Nothing Makes Sense Anymore: Five Takeaways From The Weirdest And Wackiest NBA Finals I've Ever Seen
1. It’s far too early to make any concrete declarations about victors or losers in this series. Mainly because Stephen Curry is a preternaturally gifted lightskinned genie equipped with the ability to actually make the type of shots that regularly get terrible pick-up basketball players stabbed for even attempting. And I’m forever fearful of people…
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The Black-Ass Books, Albums, Movies And More I'm Giving My Black-Ass Baby When He's Born
As I wrote a couple weeks ago, The Wife Person and I are expecting. A child. An actual human baby. An actual human baby we will have to actually parent. In anticipation of this actual human baby we will have to actually parent, we’ve had a few conversations about the type of parents we anticipate being.…
