• 50 Cent Is The Worst Type Of Person: Powerful And Petty

    I will not pretend to know exactly what happens when a person files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Sure, I can read about it on the internet. And the internet will tell me that “when a business is unable to service its debt or pay its creditors, the business or its creditors can file with…

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  • White Tears, Explained, For White People Who Don't Get It

    Yesterday, I wrote a short piece celebrating Serena Williams’s 2514th consecutive victory over Maria Sharapova; a win that took her to the Wimbledon final. Titled “Serena Williams Drinks, Bathes In, And Makes Lemonade With White Tears“, it acknowledged and made light of how Williams’s success grinds the gears of certain types of people upset that she…

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  • Serena Williams Drinks, Bathes In, And Makes Lemonade With White Tears

    Serena Williams just beat Maria Sharapova. Again. Because that’s what she does. Chew bubble gum, beat Maria Sharapova, and win majors. And I have no doubt that, as long as she doesn’t become too distracted by the emojis Drake is texting her right now, she will beat Garbine Muguruza in the Wimbledon final. There is a particular…

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  • 10 Real, Actual, Really Important Things The Bill Cosby Story Is Distracting Us From

    Along with the people who still refuse to consider that Bill Cosby might be more like cockroach — and not “Cockroach” the character from The Cosby Show, but an actual cockroach — than Cliff Huxtable, there’s another, more subversive, strain of Cosby sympathizers. Perhaps they’ll (reluctantly) admit that the Cos might be a rapist, but…

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  • On Wondering If I Should Teach My Pre-Teen Nephew To Be Wary Of White Girls

    I have two new nephews. Not “new” in that they’re newborns, but new to me because they’re my nephews through marriage. One is introverted, observant, snarky, cynical, and obsessed with basketball. Basically, he’s a 14-year-old me. Naturally, upon first meeting him three years ago, we immediately clicked. The other nephew is a couple years younger,…

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  • Bill Cosby, Dirty And Guilty Old Shit, Admits To Being A Dirty And Guilty Old Shit

    Bill Cosby actually said out his own actual mouth that he bought actual drugs to sedate actual women. Women he, in his own words, “wanted to have sex with.” He also actually admitted out his own actual mouth that he gave the actual drugs to at least one actual woman. When you sedate a person before…

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  • A Question About Chivalry: Who's "Supposed" To Be The Lead Walker? (…And Does It Matter?)

    Despite much consternation (and some cheer) about its demise, I’d argue that most adults, and even most teens, are at least somewhat aware of chivalry. Specifically, the parts that concern how a male and a female human in a romantic relationship should treat each other. The people who don’t follow these rules of decorum either don’t out of…

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  • Correction: Bree Newsome Actually Just Did The Blackest Thing I've Ever Seen

    Yesterday, I wrote that a Black president singing “Amazing Grace” at a Black church on national TV was the Blackest thing that has ever happened. I said it passed peak Blackness and entered gravitational time dilation Blackness. Dark matter, event horizon Blackness. Undiscovered dimension Blackness, redefining our understanding of how Black Blackness could be. And then…

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  • Moments Blacker Than The Black President Singing "Amazing Grace" In A Black Church On National TV

    1. Harriet Tubman. Marcus Garvey. Nina Simone. And Jesus. Together. On Juneteenth. The first Juneteenth. Playing spades. And eating sunflower seeds. BBQ sunflower seeds. Ranch BBQ sunflower seeds. At Rucker Park. But not Rucker Park in Harlem. But a Rucker Park replica in Lagos, constructed specifically for this purpose. And while the Harlem Globetrotters are…

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  • Wale's "Matrimony" Is A Step-By-Step Guide On Why Millennials Suck At Relationships

    So, you know how people who are casual fans of rap music might occasionally admit they don’t actually listen to the lyrics, just the hooks? That they have no clue about — or interest in — what’s actually being rapped about as long as the chorus and beat are hot? It’s basically what Jay Z bitched about…

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