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10 Stale, Tired and Tasteless Jokes About Kwanzaa so You Don’t Have to Create Your Own
It’s Dec. 23, which means we’re smack dab in the middle of the time of year when families across the country come together to celebrate Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or Festivus. Or they have no religious affiliations but are grateful for the extra days off and the post-Christmas Nordstrom sales. It’s also the time of…
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Why Steve Harvey Crowning the Wrong Miss Universe Is the Best Thing to Happen to Miss Universe
So let’s get a couple things out of the way first: 1. Steve Harvey has too many jobs. Steve Harvey is the host of The Steve Harvey Morning Show. And Family Feud. And Steve Harvey the talk show. That’s three full-time jobs. Plus dozens of panels, talks and seminars. And, I’m assuming, a couple hundred…
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10 Things I’ve Learned After Being a Dad for 2 Weeks
1. Infants are what would happen to an adult if you made it super tiny and then gave it a liter of Jack Daniels. The tiny part I knew already, but the drunken part is something I’ve discovered in the last couple of weeks. Because you treat infants the same way you’d treat a friend…
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John Boyega's Response To White Tears Is The Blackest Thing I've Ever Heard This Week
Earlier this week, while discussing Star Wars: The Force Awakens with my dad, I halfheartedly mentioned that I never was a huge fan of the Star Wars series. I didn’t dislike them or anything. But I just never went gaga over them either. He paused, took off his glasses, and gave me a look that could…
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How 2015 Was Drenched in White Tears
Abigail Fisher is the average-est white woman in the history of average white women. Her averageness is so average, it’s aggressive. Enthusiastic. Transformative. It boldly goes where no average has gone before. She’s unambiguously average. Obnoxiously average. Disruptively average. If she were a character in Star Wars, her name would be Darth Average. She’s to “average…
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Six Reasons Why Serena's Sportsperson Of The Year Honor Is The Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
1. Because Serena’s cover effectively turned Sports Illustrated into a late-90s King Magazine. My goodness. 2. Fortunately for men currently in relationships with women, Serena Williams also happens to be one of the few women it’s acceptable to, well, openly “appreciate.” (Basically, if you get caught liking an Instagram “model’s” picture, you might catch a sideeye. You…
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How Being Petty Won 2015
On July 21 at 11:46 p.m., Meek Mill, upset that Drake didn’t help him promote his recent album, took to Twitter to announce to his millions of followers that Drake doesn’t write his own rhymes. Then, 11 minutes later, he tweeted that he wouldn’t have even allowed Drake to be on his album if he…
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What Would R. Kelly Have to Do to Make His Supporters Turn Against Him?
Last week R. Kelly was invited onstage to perform at the Soul Train Awards—an event that was as close to a Memorial Day BBQ at a black family’s house as you’ll ever see on live TV. The only thing missing was an uncle in tube socks and flip-flops burning his shins while deep-frying a turkey.…
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The Difference Between ‘white people’ and ‘White People’
Last week I read a piece you wrote called “The Friendly, Caring, and Kind Crossing Guard on My Block Hates Muslims.” It talked about your reaction to this usually nice, white-lady crossing guard making an offhandedly bigoted remark about Muslims to you. Anyway, I’m bringing it up because of something you said in it: “Sometimes you…
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Two Days Ago, I Became A Dad. Here's What I've Learned Since Then
1. In the 48 hours since our daughter was born, my wife and I have received hundreds of texts, calls, emails, visits, and other forms of congratulations. I’ve also been asked dozens of questions. (“Did you change her diaper yet?” “Are you getting any sleep?” “When you go out tomorrow, can you get me some coconut…
