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On A Scale From One To Joe Budden, How Bothered Is Donald Trump That He Lost The Election?
I know, I know, I know. Darth Cheeto is currently the President of the United States. Which we’re reminded of each time we turn on the news or log onto the internet and see that he seems to be intent on using his presidential authority to prove that the rapey vat of curdled cheese whiz he…
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Why You're Trash-Ass Trash If You Use Negro Bed Wench As An Insult, Explained
What is a Negro Bed Wench? Many things! A reliable hotep identifier. An ash magnet, as anyone who says it immediately becomes engulfed in a shroud of ash, like a chimney sweep with sentience. A valuable source of time efficiency, as hearing those three words in succession lets you know you don’t ever have to listen to…
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Why We Joined Gizmodo Media Group (GMG), Explained
WAIT WHAT!!!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? The deal became official last Friday (June 30th), but it had been in the works for four months. I NEED A MINUTE OR TWO TO SIT DOWN. Sure. Take all of the time you need. I’ll be here. ***two minutes pass*** Ok, I’m back. Better now? Maybe? I think…
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The Boston Globe Running "In Defense Of The White Male" On The 4th Of July Is The Whitest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Since reading Roland Merullo’s “In defense of the white male” yesterday, I’ve been trying to imagine the level of hubris necessary to believe that White men are some sort of minimized American runt in dire and specific need of advocates, cheerleaders, post-dawn fellatio, and post-fellatio snickerdoodles to remind them and us of how important they are. I know…
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Shit Bougie Black People Love: 33. Drinking Room Temperature Water
If you happen upon a group of Bougie Black People in the wild — organizing Trap Kayaking trips or attempting to convince people they’ve “been on SZA since See.SZA.Run” — and you truly wanted to engage them in conversation, ask them about when they discovered that fruit juices and sodas were evil, and listen to them…
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My Day In Memphis With President Obama's My Brother's Keeper Alliance
While riding in an Uber last week — traveling from Memphis International Airport to the hotel I was staying in — I asked the driver if she, a 60-something Black woman and life-long Memphian, had any recommendations on which BBQ joints I should sample during my short stay in town. To my dismay, she suggested Rendezvous…
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The 10 Blackest Moments From A BET Awards Show I Only Watched An Hour Of Because It Was Long As Shit And I'm Old
Full disclosure. This will not be a recap of the entire show. Because I did not watch the entire show. Because I’m old as fuck and took a nap at 8pm and woke up at like 10pm. Because old ass niggas take evening naps. And then for the first few moments of watching the awards,…
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Prodigy Lived His Entire Life In Pain, And I Hope He Finally Has The Peace His Music Gave Me
My junior year of high school, I’d grown so self-conscious about the size and shape of my head that the mere thought of the bus rides to and from school and to and from basketball games induced anxiety and dread in me. Those bus rides were prime opportunities for “ripping sessions.” And despite my status as…
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Facebook Banned Me For Writing "N*gger" In A Piece About Racism, While Emails Calling Me "N*gger" Still Sit In My Inbox
Friday afternoon, as a reaction to the acquittal of former police officer Jeronimo Yanez in the shooting death of Philando Castile, I wrote a short piece attempting to articulate the morass of outrage and irrepressible frustration that comes attached to this type of news; a perpetual vexation and outrage that sticks and shifts and stuns…
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Of Course The Officer Who Killed Philando Castile Was Acquitted, Because Nigger Hunting Season Is (Always) Here
I’m trying right now to find the right words to articulate the surreal inevitability of police-involved killings like this and the verdicts that follow. And I am not able to do it without repeating the millions of words I and countless others have already said when trying to find the right words to articulate the surreal inevitability of…
